Sharing About Giving: Let Your Light Shine

“Hi! I need your help…”

A friend reached out to me last year asking me to take part in her client’s social media campaign to share acts of kindness of social media. An organization called Alight used the hashtag of #AlightChainReaction to inspire good works from individuals throughout the 2023 winter holiday season. Alight is a global humanitarian organization dedicated to providing support and resources for over 4 million people displaced by conflict, exclusion, and climate change.

Image: Cindy with a stuffed Pikachu pokemon
donated to Toys for Tots

What started out as a favor turned out to be a fascinating social experiment for me. As an author and speaker with a brand about advocacy and helping others, it’s common for me to post about acts of advocacy actions. Yet I rarely post about local, personal volunteering. Maybe part of me feels like it’s bragging to say “look what a good person I am” when I know I’m full of little foibles and bigger flaws. Reactions to my posts on #AlightChainReaction turned made me rethink that attitude. I quickly lost those awkward feelings when I my friends started asking where they could join in or reporting that they, too, took the same action because of my post.

Image: Cindy in front of a Red Cross van

A great example was my post about giving blood. Donating blood to the Red Cross is just something my mom (a nurse) taught me to do when I became an adult. But there’s a physical limit to the amount of blood one person can give! Once I give my pint, that’s all I can do for the next 8 weeks. So, when I saw a couple of friends jump into the comment section of the post right away, saying they made appointments, I thought, “Wow! That’s 3X what I could do alone!”

Image: Cindy's hand with wrapped gifts

Another fun action was gift wrapping presents for kids experiencing homelessness at a pop up wrapping station in a mall. I stopped by and gave an hour of my time doing that fun task, but my schedule didn’t allow me to sign up for another shift. I was thrilled when I got a text of a family member who loves wrapping gifts and had the spare time!

Image: A box of snacks with a note saying,
"THANK YOU for delivering our packages!
Please help yourself to a snack"

The last one I’ll mention is the snack box for delivery people. I got the idea off of social media during COVID-19 isolation in 2020 to make a box of snacks and water for folks delivering packages to my door. They work very hard during the holidays to make sure gifts get delivered on time. It brings a smile to my face to see USPS and UPS drivers walking away from my door with water, granola, or chips. I liked the enthusiastic responses I received when I posted about it, but I am genuinely touched when I visit my friends that commented and see that they’ve made their own similar boxes!

This is proof enough to me a chain reaction of kindness is possible. I’m grateful to Alight for teaching me that sharing about caring can spread kind actions throughout our community.

How appropriate that after the campaign ended, the scripture assigned to me to read at church was from the book of Mark when Jesus said to them, “Is a lamp brought in to be put under the bushel basket, or under the bed, and not on the lampstand? For there is nothing hidden, except to be disclosed; nor is anything secret, except to come to light.” If no one can see your light, it can’t spread around and inspire others to have their own experiences like it. Which is to say - as the children’s song puts it best- “Let your little light shine!”

Image: Book cover

Buy an autographed copy of "From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started" at my website www.changyit.com or order it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or any independent bookstore!

Singing Your Fight Song A Capella

If there was ever an anthem for feminine power the summer of 2016, it was "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten. I wasn't really surprised when my girls seemed to like it and decided it would be good to put on their playlist. At the time, Hillary Clinton was riding high in the polls after the debates and celebrities were banding together to sing Fight Song in a glorious YouTube video masterminded by actress Elizabeth Banks.

I went to buy the song on iTunes, but was surprised to find two versions. I listened to the most popular one and guessed my daughters would want the highly-produced radio version with the big drums. Then, I listened to the acoustic version and knew that this was the one I had to have for me.

I know it's inspiring to hear the thumping bass and sing at the top of your lungs. I like that, too. Yet my experience is that in advocacy and in much of life, the meaningful victories are the result of unglamorous, unwitnessed grunt work. And that's when we have to sing our little fight song all alone to ourselves to keep going.

When I think of these two versions of the same song, it reminds me of running a marathon. The radio version is how it feels to be flying by all the crowds cheering you in the home stretch. It feels like a million high-fives all at once. But here's the thing. You will never sing that victory version of the song unless you're able to sing your fight song alone when the crowd's not singing with you. That acoustic version with the quavering voice is like all the hard, early morning, rainy day runs you do alone to prepare for the Boston Marathon. It feels like hosting an advocacy meeting when not one person shows up. It feels like your 20th form letter from your Congressman telling you he won't support your legislation. 

These Ugandan school children are reasons I fight.
They are fighting every day. Why can't I?

The hard truth is that if you can't keep going when no one else is physically in the room cheering for you, you might never make it to the finish line. That might not be good news, but it's reality. You have to supply your own drumbeat most of the time even when it seems like you're not making a difference at all. The most worthwhile successes don't come without the perseverance and hard work. When the going gets rough, RESULTS advocates remind ourselves of that with the shorthand phrase "Dirt work, dirt work, dirt work..miracle." You have to hold fast to the reasons you are fighting at all. As an advocate, cling to your motivations for starting the work and your memories of who you are fighting for in the first place. 

And know this...you're not completely alone. You're never totally alone. I believe in you. You can do it. And sometime when we are eventually in the same room, we'll sing our fight songs together.

Sometimes You Have to Break a Few Eggs

Hey, look what happened to me this morning as I was in a hurry to make the kids some breakfast! Splat. Broken egg. Wasted food. Wasted time cleaning it up. Clumsy mommy. Luckily, I still had a few more eggs in the carton and as I stood there watching them cook, I thought of this old saying...

"If you want to make an omelette, you're going to have to break a few eggs."

In addition to being literally true, it's a good reminder for activist moms like me who are juggling other roles like "mommy" and "wife." 

A work in progress

I've noticed that on days that I'm the best homemaker, I'm not the best advocate. When I'm on a roll being Best Mom, chances are high that I'm not simultaneously winning the award for Most Empathic Wife. Whenever I'm really killing it with my advocacy work (having a number of face to face meetings in a month or taking a trip to DC), that's usually when my husband and I have the most disagreements about household cleanliness. When I'm totally on top of everything and getting compliments from my husband on how organized I am...those are the times when I've not written a single word on my book-in-progress for weeks. It's great, of course, to feel appreciated for being an attentive mother and homemaker, but those aren't the only things I want to be. What a bummer to realize the only time I excel at homemaking is when I'm blatantly hiding and procrastinating on working on the biggest, hardest project in my life (i.e. the book-in-progress).

This used to depress me...until I started paying attention to what was happening to other moms around me and realized I wasn't alone. I started hearing more and more stories like mine, especially from mothers who were still navigating careers along with motherhood. Many of them aren't advocates, but a lot of us are thinking the same thing anyway about our multiple-identity lives.

Meredith Boggess shared some of her thoughts with me about making the transition to motherhood. "The hardest adjustment for me to make was to not try to be the best at everything. It just isn't possible," she observed. Meredith is a successful Director of Marketing at Buckingham Family of Financial Services, a wealth advisory firm based in the St Louis area. She continued,

"Being the best employee, the best wife, the best mom, the best friend...it's all too much to keep up with all the time. To try to do all of that stresses out the kids and the spouse as well as the mom." 

When we talked, it really hit me that I could get much farther by dropping the word "best" out of these inner-voice conversations. Of course, I'm not the first person to figure this out and that's why you can go out and read a book called "Good Enough Parenting" or a blog called "GoodEnoughMother.com" 

These may not be examples of the calmest 

ducks, but they're cute!

For the record, every time I see Meredith, she's always a calm and very well put together lady. Which makes me think of another quote that comes up on the internet a lot (cited as a quote from many different sources, including actor Michael Caine): 

"Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like the dickens underneath!" 

Voila! A delicious masterpiece!

I don't think there's ever any mom that ever has everything totally under control. But I do think the thing that keeps me moving forward is to keep my eye on the goal. Some balls may be dropped. Some eggs may be broken both literally and figuratively. But for the most part, my family is able to bounce back from my missteps as long as everyone is communicating and trying to be as kind to each other as we can be...and together we are saving lives and ending poverty. A beautiful omelette, indeed!

Keeping the Motivation UP!

I had a tough run this week. 11 miles training for my RESULTS fundraising half-marathon run. The distance wasn't even what made it so hard. It was the fact that I had to get it done while my 9-yr-old was getting ready for school. It was broken up into chunks while I was multi-tasking. Here's what it looked like:

Starting back again at zero
miles is depressing after
running 6 already!

• 5 miles on the treadmill before anyone got up
• Wake daughter
• 2 miles outside while husband was still home
• Make sure kid's doing chores and eating breakfast. Goodbye to husband
• 4 more miles on the treadmill

5+2+4=11. Whew.

Two miles outside made kept up my spirts
for the 9 miles on the treadmill

It's incredibly hard to keep focus on an exhausting task when you are interrupted and doing other things at the same time. Inertia can sometimes be your friend since an object in motion tends to stay in motion. But it can be your enemy since an object at rest tends to stay at rest. Getting back onto that treadmill was the hardest thing I've done all month.

This is not unlike what happens when you play the long game in activism, working on an issue like global vaccines. We fight and lobby for immunizations for children to secure funding for the GAVI, the vaccine alliance and fight diseases like polio, measles, and rotovirus. Sometimes we have big wins, but sometimes there are long distracting pauses in the legislative process during which life happens. Congress is in recess. Kids soccer games, choir performances, and scouting activities happen. School happens. We forget about what we were doing and when appropriations season (the time when Congress decides how much money to give in a year) or pledging time (the time when the President decides how much the U.S. should be giving) comes around, we have to fire up our engines all over again. But I do. Because this is important. Way more important than my run this morning.

It's so easy to think that we can let the issue go because vaccines are kind of a no-brainer in the fight for global health. They are a "best buy" when you think about the value of a low-cost vaccine that buys a child lifelong protection from disease. How do you even put a value on the precious life of a child? And the value on the dignity of a mother who was protected by immunizations as an infant so she can work to provide for her own kids free of illness?...priceless. With all the benefits to saving lifes and bolstering of world economy, you'd think that it would be automatic for Congress to pass adequate funding.

But it's not automatic. 

It's a fight. Every. Time.

One of my Twitter followers saw my updates urging people to tweet the White House to ask the administration to pledge $1 Billion over the next 4 years for GAVI. He did take the action, but said something insightful. He stands up for issues that are little known or publicized, like human trafficking - which is very admirable and I strive to do the same - but tweeted that he expects our elected officials to take care of those widely known issues without his input. 

I'm glad he voiced this. I understand that viewpoint and it's true that it's hard to stand up for all things all the time. Sadly, though, it's just not true that lawmakers do the moral and smart thing even if the benefits are well-known. I've been on the losing side of advocacy battles, too, when child health programs have been slashed on the state or federal level. 

This is why it's important to keep up the momentum and remember to strap on your shoes and get back in the race at those key moments for global vaccines...like this moment. Right now!

We are on the cusp of the pledging event where all the world's nations will send representation to Berlin to publicly say how much they will pledge to the GAVI Alliance. We want the U.S. to step up and pledge $1 billion over 4 years to the GAVI Alliance, which will have the effect of saving 6 million kids' lives.   

Will you join me in getting back in the game?

Three EASY ways you can join the fight for children's lives:

1. Sign this petition from the ONE Campaign to the White House.
2. Tweet the White House with this message: "Friends, PLEASE Retweet: @WhiteHouse save over 6M kids' lives by pledging $1B over 4 yrs to @GAVI #AYAAction #VaccinesWork"
3. Call the White House by dialing 1-888-213-2881, which will connect you directly to the White House comment line. When the operator comes on the line, tell them: “I am asking President Obama to help save 6 million children’s lives by pledging 1 billion dollars over the next four years to Gavi, the Vaccine Alliance. Thank you.” (If you're worried about this one, go see my past blog about how easy calling in really is.)

I hope you will join me in taking one or all of these actions. Even taking all of them would take less than 20 min, but have enormous impact on our planet while costing you no money...except for your taxes and you have every right to weigh in on what they are spent on. Help us keep up the motivation!

Outreach: Failure and Persistence OR "OMG, What If No One Shows Up?"

It’s time to tell a story about failure. And persistence. Before one talks genuinely about persistence, one has to talk about failure. Because stories about how people persist in their constant and inevitable success are boring and –  in my experience – often fiction. This blog entry isn’t about the silver bullet of how to gather people to your movement. (If you have a blog like that, please send it to me. I’d like to read it.) It’s about how to keep going and why you should keep going when it looks like things are not going well at all.

October 17, 2009 was a dark day for me. It was a day the Millennium Campaign invited anti-poverty groups worldwide to join them in a day called: “Stand Up, Take Action, End Poverty Now.” At RESULTS, we dedicated one of our monthly conference calls to the event for a nationwide outreach push. I was excited. Certainly, there was a RESULTS group in Oak Park, but I lived an hour away near Evanston and I felt I really needed some local partners to help me. I’d been an activist for two years and this was my big chance to invite my friends to join in the advocacy I found to be so thrilling and fulfilling!

The famous Dr. Paul Farmer, author of Mountains Beyond Mountains and founder of Partners in Health, was the speaker on this conference call and it was our first live webcast. RESULTS had done everything it could for us…scheduled a great speaker on a international day of action, designed invitation flyers, given us outlines for a great outreach meeting, and given us an easy action to take. I secured a comfortable office space in the heart of downtown Evanston close to public transportation and ample parking. I made fresh guacamole and brownies. I invited everyone I knew and sent out reminder emails. I was ready to grow my group and launch a new bunch of activists into the work I was so passionate about.

At the appointed hour, I set out the snacks. I opened a soda. I opened the door…and no one walked through it.

Damn.

A half hour ticked by while I waited for the call. Maybe they were going to walk in at the last minute?

Nope.

The webcast started. Door stayed open. Chairs stayed empty.

A half an hour later, I closed the door, lay back on the office couch, and closed my eyes. I felt like the biggest dope. If I couldn’t grow my group with all that support from the Washington D.C. office, there was no hope for me. Forty-three cities held “Stand Up” events and I was certain that I was the 43^rd, sitting alone. The part of the call came when all the groups were supposed to “Stand Up” against poverty. I couldn’t even bear it. I threw my arm over my face and defiantly continued to “Lay Down” in harmony with my own miserable nature while listening to groups on the open phone line cheering wildly. Later, I would find out that an estimated 173 million people stood up against poverty that day. I wasn’t one of them.

What did I do? What didn’t I do? Was it my abrasive personality? Should I just give up on this whole thing?

What would you do?

That was five years ago. I’ve come a long way as an activist since then. I can now gather people for a fundraiser and raise thousands of dollars. I can now look my senator in the eye and ask for billions for global health programs. Yet, honestly, outreach is still a challenge for me. Getting people to come over in person and take an action is still a tough nut for me to crack. I have great and supportive advocacy coaches. They picked me up, put me back together, gave suggestions about how to improve my inviting (invite people in person, not only over email…recruit a few others as an inviting team…have it at a fun venue…etc) But what I really needed was a shift in perspective to inspire me to try again at all. 

As usual, Captain Jack Sparrow had some guidance to offer…

 “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.”
- Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

Yes. Some pirate thinking is what we all need now and then. There had to be a shift in attitude for me to understand that not everyone is going to be instantly successful in getting people to flock to meetings about poverty right off the bat. At some point, I had to realize that poverty work doesn’t sound as fun as a day at the Magic Kingdom to most folks. Getting people to attend action meetings is a skill just like many other skills to be practiced and learned.

Being a mom, the best coaching I have for myself when no one else is around is to think:

“What would you say to your child?”

If your child has difficulty making friends at playdates, would you tell your kid she should just give up on trying to make a friend? That she is better off going through life alone? Of course not. You might try different situations to make the experience more comfortable or try tactics to set her up for success. It might take a very long time. Maybe even years. But you wouldn’t just say, “Nah, bag it. You don’t need ‘em. You probably won’t need a job where you get along with co-workers either.” I bet you would help her see that in life you need to keep at it until you find a way it works for you, even if it’s not the way that usually works for other people.

And what would I tell my child if she came home telling me that she didn’t have a $500 robot she’d like to use for a science fair? That we can’t afford it and she should quit? Or, would I help her understand that sometimes you gotta work with what you have to get the job done a different way? If I don’t have 100 or even 20 activists…so what? I need to ask myself, “What can I do with 2 or 3 activists?” Quite a lot, actually. (and with a lot less coordination, it turns out!)

Persistence and creative thinking are a couple of the best qualities I could hope to model for my children. They are key components of success in lobbying, sports, academics, and just about every aspect of life. I model persistence for them when I keep working on my outreach. Plus, I enjoy successes from time to time that show me that it’s worthwhile.

These are the things I tell myself even today. From that kind of shift in attitude, came the idea of having meetings at my house with other moms and a babysitter in the basement to play with our small kids. Turns out, having someone else watch your kids for an hour IS BETTER than a day in the Magic Kingdom when your kids are 1 and 3 years old! That’s not the national RESULTS model, but it worked for me and my little group of moms got a lot of great work done together.

Anyway, this part of my advocacy is still a work in progress. I’m still trying and this time I have an inviting team and a decade of lessons learned. I’ll be starting a new RESULTS group in St Louis on March 30 to work on global poverty issues. Come join us if you are in the area!

I will also say this: My earlier struggles make me a much better coach. I have the empathy and the street cred now, so that people believe me when I can say “Keep going. Try different things. It gets better.” A colleague and I presented an “Advocacy 101” session on a college campus in Chicago. When we got to the part about the importance of outreach, a young man in the front row raised his hand suddenly and we called on him. Turns out he didn’t have a question, but sadly confessed, “One time I held a meeting and I was the only one who came.”

Me, too, buddy. Me, too. Keep going.

Making a Difference

Ever wonder what you might say to today's Youth if given an opportunity? I was caught a bit off guard when I was asked to speak to a remarkable young woman on the day of her Bat Mitzvah about Making a Difference. I didn't know what to say, but when I finished, I think I really did manage to boil down my beliefs into a succinct message, so I share it with you here.

-ccyl

------------------------------------------------------

Good job! Congratulations on your Bat Mitzvah and regarding your Bat Mitzvah project…Well Done!

I’ve been asked to say some words about “Make a Difference.” Let me start by saying that you are off to a great start.
You are already an outstanding person and just by being you, you have and will have a positive impact on people around you…like your mom and me.

But I wouldn’t be doing my job as one of your elders if I didn’t encourage you and challenge you to continue the harder job to make a real difference to people you don’t know, to you community, the world and even to yourself.

So, I have 3 pieces of advice to offer you today.

First, be intentional about making a difference. Helping and giving and serving, fighting for what’s right and healing our broken world…these are all things we have to be intentional about or they easily fall by the wayside.

Second, Think Big. Don’t think for a minute that you can’t have tremendous impact. It can be from merely showing a kindness to one person who needs it just at that moment. Or you might join with others to further a cause that has been years in the making that will change the course of history. At the same time, don’t be overwhelmed to inaction. Most people are.

It’s probably not common for people to quote catholic nuns at Bat Mitzvah luncheons, but…Mother Teresa said "If you can't feed 100 people, then feed just one" and I think message transcends religions. Don’t let the magnitude of the task or your own self-doubt stop you from taking action.

Lastly, and I think most importantly, Get Personal. Be generous with your time and talents, not just your money. (This will make more sense later when you’re making money) It will help you find your gifts and build on them and find what it is that only you can do. At any given moment…because of who you are or where you happen to be (figuratively or maybe even literally where you’re standing) there’s something for which you are the best person for the job. And my wish for you is that you are going to be able to seize those moments and act on them. Believe me, you’re not going to catch all of them 100% of the time, but when it happens, that’s when you make the biggest difference- for others and for yourself. That makes for days that really count.

I’ve talked in nice vague ways about “taking action” and never once gave you a good solid suggestion for what kind of differences exactly that you should be making. That’s because…I don’t know. And neither does anyone else. This is for you, and only you, to figure out. You’re an adult now in your congregation and this is one of your adult decisions.

But I can leave you with some words that are helpful to me to point me to my path. Buckminster Fuller, American philosopher and futurist, said…

“The Things to do are: the things that need doing, that you see need to be done, and that no one else seems to see need to be done.”

That’s a little complicated so I’ll say it again and maybe text it to you later.

So, go…keep making a difference as you already have. Mazel Tov!

The Social Cause Diet: Finding A Service That Feeds Your Soul

Another fun thing I heard about on breadblog.org...

The Social Cause Diet
Finding A Service That Feeds Your Soul

Here is a unique opportunity for anyone who has an amazing, humorous, or otherwise inspiring story to tell about a satisfying act of service. Author Gail Perry Johnston—with new publisher, Cupola Press—is requesting submissions for The Social Cause Diet: Finding A Service That Feeds Your Soul, slated for a release this summer.

The Social Cause Diet will feature everyday people giving of their time and efforts within the context of an established social service. Many people are willing to give of themselves but they do not know where to begin or realize that their interests and abilities match those of an existing organization. The range of stories collected in The Social Cause Diet will reveal that there are achievable, accessible, and satisfying ways for everyone to give.

See our guidelines and submit your story!

http://www.socialcausediet.com/index.htm

not the congress, not the millionaire...but me!

As I organize details in the last few weeks before the Offering of Letters (Sunday, March 9 for my church), I find myself humming the chorus of Pat Humphries' "Bound for Freedom" quite a bit. Sort of an anthem for personal responsibility and organizing for social justice :)

"Here I go bound for freedom. May my truth take the lead
Not the preacher, not the congress, not the millionaire, but me
I will organize for justice. I will raise my voice in song
And our children will be free to lead the world and carry on"

Connie Wick:an interview with a grass-roots leader

This is a beautiful interview of Connie Wick, a Bread for the World member who started her work from her retirement community in Indiana.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08mk267FIpA

Her comments at the beginning of the interview really resonated in my heart. She talks about the reasons for, frustrations of, and satisfactions about being an advocate for poor and hungry people. This was incredibly inspiring to me as she is very articulate and sometimes I struggle for words to say why I do this and what an impact I believe we can all have on eliminating poverty no matter when, in life, we begin our work.