Strategic Acts of Kindness

Last week was “Random Acts of Kindness Week,” a time to encourage people to make life more pleasant for everyone. Organizers at randomactsofkindness.org encouraged actions like leaving positive notes around town and feeding meters for strangers. I would never argue with that notion. The world needs more kindness! But now that the week for random acts is over, I think it’s time to also embrace “strategic acts of kindness.”

Random acts of hatred have risen dramatically in the United States. Our country has seen repeated damage to Jewish cemeteries and bomb threats to Jewish community centers. The highest office of the U.S. has issued unconstitutional travel bans targeting Muslims. People of all kinds of skin tones other than the old Crayola crayon "flesh" color are shouted at to "Go home!" when they've lived in the U.S. their whole lives. Racism, sexism, and xenophobia are becoming increasingly normalized in political discussions and in everyday conversations. 

In the face of such a disturbing reality, we must take powerful actions to protect those who suffer disproportionately in this world because of religion, race, gender, or any number of factors. People of every political stripe are waking up and wanting to have a voice in the direction our country is heading. However, many regular folks don’t have the first idea about how to reach our nation’s decision makers.

That’s where strategic acts of kindness come in. In my former career as an engineer, I found random actions led to random results. Intentional strategy is needed to combat random acts of hatred or – even worse – systematic acts of oppression in our country and around the world.

Bread for the World volunteers handwrite letters to Congress
at church after a Sunday worship service.

What could this sort of organized love look like? Setting aside time each day to call members of Congress to voice your opinion. Holding a meeting with friends to write letters to elected officials. Submitting a letter to the editor. Sitting down with a senator or representative face to face to voice your opinion with respect. In fact, these are the very actions that U.S. representatives and senators consistently report as the most influential ways a constituent can sway their opinion.

If you don’t know how to do these things right now, that’s not a problem. Before I learned how to raise my voice, I was a stay-at-home mom who didn’t even know the names of my senators. I only knew that my community and my world allowed babies in poverty to suffer from poor health and I wanted to help. By getting involved with reputable advocacy organizations like RESULTS, I was able to receive training, support, and inspiration to become a skilled advocate. In time, I learned to effectively advise policy makers, guiding them towards decisions that improve access to education, health, and economic opportunity.

Richard Smiley and I meet with Senator Durbin about
microfinance to help the poorest families of the world.

What could we accomplish together if we could channel outrage and dissent into deliberate actions to change the future in positive ways? The possibilities are endless. Look at the massive problem of global poverty, widely regarded as unsolvable. Years of coordinated volunteer advocacy have pressured the U.S. to partner with other countries on global health, nutrition, and education programs. Since 1990, the number of people living in extreme poverty worldwide has been cut by more than half! With enough engaged citizens creating the political will to stand up for ourselves and people in need, there is no limit to the good we could do.

It is critical that we empower ourselves with the skills needed to speak out to the presidential administration and our members of Congress. Compassionate civic engagement is what our situation demands of us today. Together, we can navigate the combative ugliness of our time by rising above it. It’s time to move beyond the random. We can shape the future by committing to strategic acts of kindness.

Capitol Hill: What's in Your Lobby Bag?

Next week, I'm heading to Washington D.C. with my kids for the RESULTS International Conference...an event that will include a full day of lobbying on global maternal and child health. (What better topic for "Anti-Poverty Mom," right?) As I was preparing, it dawned on me that I should document the things that I take with me for a day trip to Capitol Hill with my kids, so that other mom-advocates can be prepared for their first trip.

Advocates heading out for a whole day should pack their lobby bags with the same mentality a mom uses to pack a diaper bag. Think through the likely possibilities of what is likely to happen and what unfortunately may happen, then pack accordingly. Like a backpacking hiker, be conscious of weight since you have to carry it all day long. The trouble is that if you haven’t lobbied before, you don’t know what to bring. So, I’ll tell you what’s in mine. My bag is always packed and I’ve just added in things over the years after I’d wished I’d had them.

WHAT DO I NEED?

• Over-the-shoulder messenger bag with plenty of pockets and the organization logo on the outside: Some organizations give you a plain tote for free and that’s cool. In some ways, the logo is more important than the pockets. It lets people know your cause whether you are walking in the door, trudging down long congressional corridors, or smiling in front of the Capitol dome for your photo post on social media. However, I am very partial to my UN Foundation Shot@Life tote because of all the cool zips and compartments. 

• Notebook: To write down follow up actions from the meeting, important observations, names of all the staffers in the meeting, and miscellaneous reminders about the day
• Two-pocket folders that hold a business card in the pocket: To hold information to leave behind with each office you meet with (copies of newspaper clippings, infographics, brochures, etc)
• Business cards: Put one in each leave behind folder and keep some to hand out to every aide at the meeting as well as colleagues you meet during the conference. Don't have any? Order some cool ones from www.moo.com You deserve to have people know who you are!

• Note cards: I write the name of the member of Congress, the room number, and aide’s name on a notecard attached to each folder, so I know exactly what I’m giving to whom and I can remove it just before the meeting. Sticky notes fall off in my bag…don’t trust them.
• Paper clips: To hold the note card to the folder, hold together media or information sheets, hold other people’s business cards, pick simple locks, etc

• Thank You cards: The aide or member of Congress you meet with should get a quick handwritten note simply thanking them for their time they spent meeting with you. Get the signature of all your fellow team members in your group before the meeting and if you’re clever, just hand the thank you to the receptionist on your way out.
• Stamps: To mail your thank you note if you forget to be clever and hand it to the receptionist on your way out.
• Phone charger cord: It is totally acceptable to charge your phone in an outlet during a meeting. Note: it is not acceptable to run back and interrupt their next meeting because you forgot your phone!
• Picture of your children (or your children in person!): When explaining why you are an advocate, show them a picture of your family and say you’re making a better world for your kids. Or, just look at it for strength and resolution if you feel butterflies in your stomach.

• Kleenex: If you’re a parent. You know this is useful.
• Hand sanitizer or wipes: You will be shaking a lot of hands and you don’t know where they’ve been.
• Band-Aids and Neosporin: Someone always gets a blister walking between the senate and house buildings with no nylons in the summer. They will revere your benevolence for giving them a Band-Aid and a dab of Neosporin. Or it might be you and you’ll just take care of it quietly by yourself.
• Granola bar or pretzels: Cafeterias on Capitol Hill are sometimes too far for little ones to make it. Have a little snack packed in case you don’t get to one or if a meeting runs late and you have to skip lunch.
• Cough drops/hard candy: For coughing fits...or keeping children's mouths busy.

• 3-4 ball point pens: One will always run out when you need it. Another will be stolen by someone. See? You still have an extra!
• Sharpie: At least once every conference, it seems like someone yells “Does anyone have a sharpie?” I don’t know why.
• Scotch tape: About every third conference, it seems like someone yells “Does anyone have scotch tape??!!” and they always look more desperate than the Sharpie people. I think it’s usually related to making and posting directional signs in hallways because it’s not like anyone ever quickly wrapped up a present and gave it to me.

There you go! Those are my lobby bag basics. I've skipped cosmetic things like hair ties (which I use) and lipstick (which I don't), but this is enough to help a novice pack like a pro...or at least a mom! 

To my experienced mommy lobbyists out there...

what's in your lobby bag?

Looking Back at my RESULTS Conferences

Photo Credit: RESULTS Educational Fund

Greetings from the RESULTS International Conference in sunny (for now) Washington D.C.! We are celebrating the 35th Anniversary of this stellar organization, which has played such a pivotal role in the steady march to end poverty. We've been sharing a lot of memories and retrospectives here at the conference and it made me want to post a few of my own memories here on my Anti-Poverty Mom blog. Makes sense because this is the organization that MADE me the Anti-Poverty Mom. 

Getting our pic with my Senator Obama's foreign policy
aide at my 1st RESULTS conference

2008: The year I took a leap of faith. 
I wanted to learn to lobby in person and heard from people in the know that RESULTS teaches face-to-face lobbying better than any other organization. Wow. That's huge considering the people that told me also belonged to other advocacy organizations. So, I left my babies with my husband and went all by myself to the RESULTS International Conference where I knew exactly ZERO people. During that week, I met people I now call dearest friends and role models. I lobbied my senator's office never knowing that Senator Obama would soon become President Obama.

Standing with lobbying giants Sarah Beardmore and RESULTS
legend Bob Dickerson

2009: The year of the green suit. 
(Who wears a green suit?) By this time, I had been bitten by the lobbying bug hard and was on my way to becoming a regularly published letter-to-the-editor writer. I loved RESULTS so much, I ran for the national board by making a speech in front of the whole conference...and won! Wait, what?! Yep, I became the Evanston group leader and a board member the same year. With pre-schoolers. See what a good green suit can do for you?

A photo op with Senator Dick Durbin of Illinois

2010: The year I met Senator Dick Durbin. 
By this time, my U.S. Representative Jan Schakowsky knew my name and even mentioned me in a speech. More importantly, I'm feeling super empowered because I walked into their offices, asked them to do things, and they said "Yes!" You're looking at a mommy drunk with power!!! Fortunately, when I came home, my kids wasted no time dumping food on the floor, which I had to clean. Humility restored. 

2011: The year of the D.C. family vacation.
By this time, my family was wondering what the heck I do with myself at the RESULTS International Conference of mystery. The girls were still too little to come with me, but we decided they are old enough to enjoy some museums and, I guess, an open-bar reception in the Capitol. I greeted them with "Future Member of Congress" T-shirts and we ushered them in to meet all my friends, colleagues, and celebrity activist Valerie Harper. Then, later, even after the conference was over, we had a double senator meeting at the IL constituent breakfast with senators Durbin and Kirk. Um...yes...somtimes our family lobbies on vacation on our free time. We're a bundle of fun!

Pre-Lobby Day shenanigans at a podium

2012: The year I was elected to Senate.
No, no. Just kidding. But I did quit my board term early and start working as RESULTS staff part-time on the fundraising team. I got paid for talking on the phone and emailing the most wonderful people every day! I loved being so involved with our volunteer activists and getting to know the staff I admired so much as friends and colleagues. I no longer had any free time and learned that everyone who works at a non-profit does about 30% more things that I thought they did.

My daughter & I become a DC lobbying team

2013: Take your daughter to work year.
Finally deciding my oldest daughter had enough patience to sit through conference sessions (even if she reads books while we meet), I brought her out to DC with me. After all, she'd already attended more in-district lobby meetings than most adults by this point in her short life. Turned out she was great at filing things and sorting nametages, so "take your daughter to work day" became "put your daughter to work" day as well.

Bringing the little sister to join the team

2014: The year BOTH daughters attended.
By this time, I had decided to leave my part-time job because of my decision to become a writer. Yet it was far from a slow paced conference. That year I brought both girls, ran for board again (and won), met the president of the World Bank Dr. Jim Kim for the price of writing a thoughtful blog piece about his speech, coached a team full of brand new poverty advocates on my team, and even helped acclimate movie star Sean Astin to our happy family traditions. Honestly, I'm kind of tired even thinking of last year!

2015: ??????

What will this year hold? I don't know, but I'm here with my two seasoned lobbyist kids and heading to offices who darn well know who we are now. All I can say, is that I'm excited for the future days and future years with all my RESULTS family.


And now, here's a retrospective of my dear friendship with Jen Paprotna who has now left the RESULTS staff for another organization. Here are all our pictures together in one place from Lobby Days past. (Honestly, 2012 was a rough year on that open bar.) Enjoy, Jen!

2009

2012

2013

2014

Advocacy Made Easy: Writing a Blog Post

You may have seen my past posts in my Advocacy Made Easy series. (If you want to see them, type "Advocacy Made Easy" into the search bar of this blog) I'll admit up front that this particular action - writing a blog post - isn't as ready-made for step-by-step instructions as other advocacy actions. It requires creativity, introspection, and a willingness to put your views out into the public that many other actions don't.

I'm still stumbling along in this journey to create compelling posts, but here are a few lessons I've learned that I can share with you about creating blog content.

EPIC Format Still Works
I use the EPIC writing format for writing letters to Congress and letters to the editor. There's nothing wrong with using this tried and true method for a blog post. A blog tends to be more free flowing than a formal letter, so it's okay if you just want to write 6 or 7 haikus about your topic. Nevertheless, for informing readers and asking them to take an action, nothing beats a good EPIC piece of writing. "EPIC" is a handy mnemonic for remembering an order of statements to build your case for an action and engage your reader. Here it is:

Engage: Grab the reader's attention with a question or a startling statement. You could use a surprising statistic or a question. 

Problem: State the problem that you want the reader to address. 

Inform (or Illustrate): Inform the reader of the solution or illustrate how the solution can help. 

Call to Action: CLEARLY state what you want the reader to do. It's best if you can do it in the form of a question that should be answered with a "yes" or a "no."

THINK Before You Post
There are plenty of bloggers making names for themselves by being edgy, negative, or snarky. However, my advice to you, especially if you are just starting out and haven't found your voice yet, is to play it positive. It seems like the online universe trends toward the negative side of things. Isn't there enough name calling and disrespect out there? Why add to it? Remember, once you put something negative and nasty out there, you can't take it back once it starts being shared and re-tweeted.

I found a sign in the hallway at an elementary school and thought that its message is even more applicable to bloggers than school children. It encourages kids to think before they speak and ask themselves about what they are about to say: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? Is it kind?

I strive to hold similar standards in my blog posts. I want this blog to be uplifting and inclusive, so I also give consideration to "Who might I be alienating with the way this draft is written?" I know I don't always get it right, but stopping to think before posting helps a great deal.

Use Pictures (your own pictures!)
Pictures are a great way to get someone to click on your blog and hold attention. They don't even have to be award winning photography. Just something to give the brain a break from a solid wall of text. Case in point: In the bullet suggestion above, I could have just listed out the bullet points of the "Think Before You Speak" poster. But it was more interesting looking at the quilt-like bulletin board that a teacher spent a good amount of time putting together, wasn't it? I've taken pictures of legos spilled on my floor and heaps of my own dirty laundry to make my points. The main thing is that you own the pictures you use or credit the person who does own the photo (ideally with his or her permission). You can also purchase stock photos on websites for not much money if you wish. Sometimes if I don't have a good photo, I might simply draw a quick sketch like this one I used on a blog about sadness.

http://endpoverty-ccyl.blogspot.com/2015/07/sadness-is-underrated-emotion.html

Be Sincere and Find Your Own Voice
Frank Gilbert, English teacher and fellow RESULTS advocate, guides his students in the art of finding their own writing styles. He tells them, (paraphrased) "If anyone ever tells you that they can hear your voice when they read your writing, then you know you have found your genuine writing voice." When I began this blog, my own writing was quite stilted and - frankly - extremely boring. If you don't believe me, you can read my post from 2007 about the Farm Bill. Or - better yet - don't bother unless your having difficulty sleeping and want to be lulled to unconsciousness. Over time, I found that many more people respond to my posts when I write as if I'm writing an email to a friend. Sure, a post should be more strict about grammar (see Weird Al Yankovic's "Word Crimes" if you don't understand why) than your twitter feed. So, be casual while also being correct. Please also accept my apologies for the unintentional typos you may be reading over in this very post. Additionally, when I became more authentic in sharing who I am - a nerdly stay-at-home mom of two - and shared my opinions through that particular perspective, my posts became more interesting to more people.

Like I said, I'm still growing and learning. If you have more pieces of advice for new (or old) bloggers, please share them in the comments. I'd love to hear it!

Image: Book cover

Buy an autographed copy of "From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started" at my website www.changyit.com or order it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or any independent bookstore!

Outreach: Failure and Persistence OR "OMG, What If No One Shows Up?"

It’s time to tell a story about failure. And persistence. Before one talks genuinely about persistence, one has to talk about failure. Because stories about how people persist in their constant and inevitable success are boring and –  in my experience – often fiction. This blog entry isn’t about the silver bullet of how to gather people to your movement. (If you have a blog like that, please send it to me. I’d like to read it.) It’s about how to keep going and why you should keep going when it looks like things are not going well at all.

October 17, 2009 was a dark day for me. It was a day the Millennium Campaign invited anti-poverty groups worldwide to join them in a day called: “Stand Up, Take Action, End Poverty Now.” At RESULTS, we dedicated one of our monthly conference calls to the event for a nationwide outreach push. I was excited. Certainly, there was a RESULTS group in Oak Park, but I lived an hour away near Evanston and I felt I really needed some local partners to help me. I’d been an activist for two years and this was my big chance to invite my friends to join in the advocacy I found to be so thrilling and fulfilling!

The famous Dr. Paul Farmer, author of Mountains Beyond Mountains and founder of Partners in Health, was the speaker on this conference call and it was our first live webcast. RESULTS had done everything it could for us…scheduled a great speaker on a international day of action, designed invitation flyers, given us outlines for a great outreach meeting, and given us an easy action to take. I secured a comfortable office space in the heart of downtown Evanston close to public transportation and ample parking. I made fresh guacamole and brownies. I invited everyone I knew and sent out reminder emails. I was ready to grow my group and launch a new bunch of activists into the work I was so passionate about.

At the appointed hour, I set out the snacks. I opened a soda. I opened the door…and no one walked through it.

Damn.

A half hour ticked by while I waited for the call. Maybe they were going to walk in at the last minute?

Nope.

The webcast started. Door stayed open. Chairs stayed empty.

A half an hour later, I closed the door, lay back on the office couch, and closed my eyes. I felt like the biggest dope. If I couldn’t grow my group with all that support from the Washington D.C. office, there was no hope for me. Forty-three cities held “Stand Up” events and I was certain that I was the 43^rd, sitting alone. The part of the call came when all the groups were supposed to “Stand Up” against poverty. I couldn’t even bear it. I threw my arm over my face and defiantly continued to “Lay Down” in harmony with my own miserable nature while listening to groups on the open phone line cheering wildly. Later, I would find out that an estimated 173 million people stood up against poverty that day. I wasn’t one of them.

What did I do? What didn’t I do? Was it my abrasive personality? Should I just give up on this whole thing?

What would you do?

That was five years ago. I’ve come a long way as an activist since then. I can now gather people for a fundraiser and raise thousands of dollars. I can now look my senator in the eye and ask for billions for global health programs. Yet, honestly, outreach is still a challenge for me. Getting people to come over in person and take an action is still a tough nut for me to crack. I have great and supportive advocacy coaches. They picked me up, put me back together, gave suggestions about how to improve my inviting (invite people in person, not only over email…recruit a few others as an inviting team…have it at a fun venue…etc) But what I really needed was a shift in perspective to inspire me to try again at all. 

As usual, Captain Jack Sparrow had some guidance to offer…

 “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.”
- Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

Yes. Some pirate thinking is what we all need now and then. There had to be a shift in attitude for me to understand that not everyone is going to be instantly successful in getting people to flock to meetings about poverty right off the bat. At some point, I had to realize that poverty work doesn’t sound as fun as a day at the Magic Kingdom to most folks. Getting people to attend action meetings is a skill just like many other skills to be practiced and learned.

Being a mom, the best coaching I have for myself when no one else is around is to think:

“What would you say to your child?”

If your child has difficulty making friends at playdates, would you tell your kid she should just give up on trying to make a friend? That she is better off going through life alone? Of course not. You might try different situations to make the experience more comfortable or try tactics to set her up for success. It might take a very long time. Maybe even years. But you wouldn’t just say, “Nah, bag it. You don’t need ‘em. You probably won’t need a job where you get along with co-workers either.” I bet you would help her see that in life you need to keep at it until you find a way it works for you, even if it’s not the way that usually works for other people.

And what would I tell my child if she came home telling me that she didn’t have a $500 robot she’d like to use for a science fair? That we can’t afford it and she should quit? Or, would I help her understand that sometimes you gotta work with what you have to get the job done a different way? If I don’t have 100 or even 20 activists…so what? I need to ask myself, “What can I do with 2 or 3 activists?” Quite a lot, actually. (and with a lot less coordination, it turns out!)

Persistence and creative thinking are a couple of the best qualities I could hope to model for my children. They are key components of success in lobbying, sports, academics, and just about every aspect of life. I model persistence for them when I keep working on my outreach. Plus, I enjoy successes from time to time that show me that it’s worthwhile.

These are the things I tell myself even today. From that kind of shift in attitude, came the idea of having meetings at my house with other moms and a babysitter in the basement to play with our small kids. Turns out, having someone else watch your kids for an hour IS BETTER than a day in the Magic Kingdom when your kids are 1 and 3 years old! That’s not the national RESULTS model, but it worked for me and my little group of moms got a lot of great work done together.

Anyway, this part of my advocacy is still a work in progress. I’m still trying and this time I have an inviting team and a decade of lessons learned. I’ll be starting a new RESULTS group in St Louis on March 30 to work on global poverty issues. Come join us if you are in the area!

I will also say this: My earlier struggles make me a much better coach. I have the empathy and the street cred now, so that people believe me when I can say “Keep going. Try different things. It gets better.” A colleague and I presented an “Advocacy 101” session on a college campus in Chicago. When we got to the part about the importance of outreach, a young man in the front row raised his hand suddenly and we called on him. Turns out he didn’t have a question, but sadly confessed, “One time I held a meeting and I was the only one who came.”

Me, too, buddy. Me, too. Keep going.

When Force of Will Becomes Force of Habit

I advocate every day.
Yep.
Every. Day.

This wasn't always so. I didn't ever really understand what advocacy was until my thirties. So, how does one go from not doing anything about poverty at all to taking action to fight it every single day? How did I go from overcoming my nervousness and writing to my member of Congress through sheer force of will...all the way to phoning my elected officials by force of habit? For me, it started with a Lenten promise and a ONE bracelet.

By 2001, I'd done plenty of fundraising and service charity work, but "advocacy" was an odd, scary sounding word to me...until I realized that it's simply speaking out about something you care about. It took some Bread for the World members at my church to show me that it could be just a simple act of writing a letter, an email, or making a phone call. Yet that didn't mean it was easy. I was rather afraid someone from a senate office would call me back to challenge me, saying, "What did you mean by that!?" For me to write that first letter was not the most natural thing. My heart raced when I made my first phone call to my U.S. representative.

Once I realized I could have more impact with advocacy than direct service and saw that it fit into my life better, I recognized that advocating for better anti-poverty programs was hard for me, but something I wanted to do more because of the potential to have so much more impact than serving people at the soup kitchen one person at a time. So, I decided that for the 40 days I observed Lent (a Christian time of reflection, discipline, and sacrifice), I would put the white ONE bracelet on in the morning. When I had taken some sort of action - wrote a letter, made a phone call, sent an email, wrote a letter to the editor, etc - I got to take the bracelet off. I found that once I'd come so far, I wanted to keep going. After 40 days, I was just used to doing it. I also learned from congressional offices that persistence is a critical characteristic of people who get their attention.

Some UK researchers concluded that it takes an average of 66 days to form a habit. I believe it takes the doing of something regularly and repeatedly to get used to it. Plus - and I find this with exercise - it is inspiring to set a goal and keep up a good habit. I'm reluctant to let go of my goal when I don't want to lose progress I've made. Hm...this is Alcoholics Anonymous strategy, too, isn't it? Well, I also found that when I was happy with myself and impressed with what I had accomplished, I wanted to do more. That's likely why the RESULTS core values resonate with me:

"Instead of waiting to be inspired to take action, we realize that being in action inspires us." 

Now, it's years later and I have even more reasons to do something every day. Now that I've even travelled to Uganda to meet families who need such basics as vaccines, clean water, education for their kids, how can I stop when I've looked into their eyes and shared smiles together? 

Insider Images

I love it when I find campaigns that encourage other people to be in action every day as well...like the Shot@Life Blogust campaign where leaving a comment on a blog each day in August unlocks a donation for a vaccine for a child in the developing world. I like promoting that campaign because it's fun and by sharing it, I inspire other people to get involved and take action every day.

Every. Day.