Activist Profile: Laura Frisch of Moms Demand Action

Image: Laura Frish (photo by Laura Frisch)

The following is an excerpt from my book, "From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started." In addition to stories and quotes from mom-advocates, my book features six mothers in particular whose stories highlight different aspects of advocacy. Laura Frisch, a volunteer for Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, is one of those powerful women. In this section, I invite everyone to consider how to be more inclusive and build stronger communities.

PROFILE: LAURA FRISCH

BUILDING COMMUNITY

Although I have known Laura Frisch for more than fifteen years, I remain amazed at how she uses every opportunity to exponentially group efforts for good and to build up the community around her in positive ways. Frankly, I both admire and fear her abilities because she pushes the boundaries of my own comfort zone. Knowing Laura has made me a bolder organizer.

As a mom of young children, Laura skillfully created a fun and welcoming community for her friends and neighbors; she carried those skills into her local schools and later into troubled Chicago neighborhoods. Now she works to foster a nationwide community that can create a safer place for all. 

When we were both raising little ones in Morton Grove, Illinois, Laura’s house was a swirling epicenter of neighborhood activity. Two kids and four dogs made for a bustling home on the quietest of days, and her door was always open to welcome friends and their kids for anything from an impromptu backyard picnic to a messy tie-dye T-shirt session. 

To Laura, anything worth doing with two friends was worth doing with ten friends! She was so comfortable in the chaos that her first instinct was always to ask, “How can we include more people? How do we make this open and accessible for everyone?” This tendency was both a challenge and an inspiration to an introvert like me, who generally wanted to keep things comfortable and cozy for myself. Yet I knew that whenever I wanted to rally the Morton Grove community, Laura was the secret ingredient for cooking up any of my schemes. 

For example, I once thought it would be good to replace the school’s annual wrapping paper fundraiser with a walkathon so our kids could do something healthy instead of generating more disposable waste. I laid my idea at Laura’s feet. Before I knew it, we had a school day set aside for a walkathon and a volunteer committee of parents scurrying to find sponsors, collect donations, and judge a T-shirt design contest. 

Laura didn’t stop there. She arranged for a school for students with emotional or physical challenges to participate in our walkathon and to share in the proceeds, too. That school had significant financial needs but no parent organization to raise money. Laura took my idea and made it bigger. More inclusive. More accessible. I moved away from Illinois in 2013, but I kept in touch with Laura, and I wasn’t surprised when she became involved with a nationwide advocacy group in the aftermath of the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. Laura, who had been teaching a park district preschool class on the day of the shooting, said, “It was like Pearl Harbor Day. I distinctly remember I was working in one of those little one-room schoolhouses. No protection there. I thought about how I’ve had incidents where divorced parents tried to pick up kids without authority and I had to call the police.” In those times of conflict, it had only been Laura and two helpers caring for fifteen preschoolers. No security backup. 

The thought of what could happen if an armed person came with the intent to harm her or her class prompted her to join the Facebook group of Shannon Watts, an Indiana stay-at-home mom who felt compelled to take action after the Sandy Hook massacre. Shannon started a nationwide discussion among mothers about how Americans could and should do more to reduce gun violence. This impromptu group went viral and eventually became Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. It’s now a widespread grassroots movement of Americans who are fighting for public safety measures to reduce gun violence. Members advocate for stronger gun laws and work to close loopholes that jeopardize public safety. They also work in their own communities and with business leaders to encourage a culture of responsible gun ownership. 

Image: Missouri Moms Demand Action advocates
at 2020 lobby day in Jefferson City, MO
Photo by Becky Morgan

Nowadays, Moms Demand Action is an advocacy juggernaut that inspires seas of supporters in read T-shirts to descend upon state legislatures to promote "gun sense" legislation. The organization has at least one chapter in every state and over eight million supporters. But Laura was there in the early days when Moms Demand Action consisted of small pockets of moms around the country who were simply trying to start conversations about gun safety.

“We were a total ragtag little team of people who started out saying, ‘Let’s talk about it at our PTO meetings’ and turned it into ‘Let’s find out how to lobby,’” she recalled. At the time, she had no idea how big the movement would become or that she would bring the Moms Demand organization to the whole North Shore area of Chicago. 

In addition to Laura, several Moms Demand members lived in Chicago or its suburbs, and one of them learned a mother had been killed while protecting her child from a drive-by shooting. So, a couple of nearby members went to sit in solidarity with neighbors on the Englewood corner where that mother had been shot. Laura believes it’s important to know that Moms Demand volunteers went with a spirit of partnership to places where allies were already working against gun violence, rather than simply showing up after a shooting for a photo op. “It’s more like, when there was a group there already, they’d say, ‘Come and help,’ and we’d show up to support each other.” 

In Englewood, what began as a small vigil on a corner started by Tamar Manasseh of MASK, Mothers and Men Against Senseless Killings, soon blossomed into a regular event the community could count on for safety. The gatherings went like this: Take char- coal and food for seventy-five people to a local park. Bring along a local Lutheran pastor, Islamic leaders, and Jewish congregants. Get together and talk to people in a block-party setting. Feed everyone. The atmosphere was energizing and loving. On these block party nights, kids in the neighborhood knew this would be a safe spot where they could get something to eat, which was important because many of the kids were food insecure. Laura would set up a face-painting table, something she often did for events at her synagogue and the Morton Grove Farmers’ Market. Her face painting gave kids a chance to sit down with a safe adult for one-on-one time, helping them build positive memories of being a kid. 

Moms Demand volunteers in Chicago continue to work with local groups organizing these kinds of gatherings to provide whatever is needed. They strive to make these areas feel safer and to help children escape the fear they carry with them. Members also listen to kids tell stories of the people they have lost. 

Laura’s role with Moms Demand Action grew as the organization addressed more state and national initiatives, including speaking to legislators and supporting a campaign to spread safety awareness among gun owners. But she still makes time to go back to that same Englewood gathering, which never stopped trying to make that corner a safe place to be. Even though MASK runs the event on its own, Laura still goes twice a year, bringing more people with her each time. 

“It’s hot and there’s very little shade,” Laura admitted. “It’s a schlep down there, but we go back every year. Every single time I’m thinking, ‘This is affecting people in a positive way,’ so I keep going.” 

When she reflected upon how the organization has expanded from the eclectic group of volunteers who gathered in the early days, Laura said, “Moms Demand was the sorority everyone could join. Of course, it’s serious business. Many people joined because they lost a child or loved one to gun violence, so it wasn’t all fun with sisters. But everyone was welcome.” 

Baking this kind of inclusiveness into the organization’s culture has helped it grow and gain power. With a problem as widespread as gun violence, it’s important to get all kinds of allies on board to create and run safety campaigns and encourage the election of gun-sense candidates. They may have started as a bunch of moms, but those moms knew they needed to enlist the help of dads, kids, hunters, gun-toting grandmas, members of Congress, and even conservative news pundits. 

Not long after my 2019 conversation with Laura, conservative CNN host S. E. Cupp—nationally known as an outspoken supporter of the National Rifle Association (NRA)—announced on air that she had dropped her NRA membership in the wake of mass shootings in El Paso, Texas, and Dayton, Ohio. In an impassioned speech, she spoke in favor of legislative measures that Moms Demand advocates had promoted for years: universal background checks, bans on the sale of large drums of ammunition, and measures to prevent domestic abusers from having access to guns. Just four years earlier, Cupp had appeared in an advertisement as a self-proclaimed “NRA mom” who urged others to join the NRA. I don’t know whether Cupp will join Moms Demand, but I think she would find that sorority accepting of her. 

Building movements and organizing volunteers is hard. It can be messy when a lot of different personalities and viewpoints clash. But changing the world takes a wide diversity of voices and personalities, and we don’t always get to pick and choose who shows up to help. Laura understands that if we work only with people who look like us, shop like us, worship like us, and play like us, then we are not going to change much of anything at all. Her solution is to welcome everybody. 

When I asked what drives her sense of inclusivity, Laura denied suggestions that it came from her religion or early role models. Instead, she said, “I was lonely as a kid. I’m never going to make someone not be included. I’ve stood in those shoes and I’m not going to make anyone else stand in them.” 

Most of us have felt lonely and left out at times in our lives. Let’s channel those feelings as Laura does to make others feel more comfortable as we work together. Building inclusive movements is the greatest gift we can share to take powerful actions and help more people. 

Image: Book cover

Buy an autographed copy of "From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started" at my website www.changyit.com or order it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or any independent bookstore!

Global Food Systems: Seed to Plate and Everything In-Between

Image: Cynthia with a copy of her book "From Changing
Diapers to Changing the World" at Capitol Hill in DC

Today, I’m back on Capitol Hill with CARE talking about...drumroll please...food security! Although I often lobby Congress about nutrition, usually I’m talking about child nutrition in the first 1000 days of life. That is definitely part of food security, but it’s just one tiny aspect of the great big issue.

Image: Toddler eating carrots off a plate

What is Food Security?

Food security is all about strengthening food systems to help the world weather all kinds of crises. Food systems encompass everything from seed to plate and ALL that happens in between. 

The main legislation that authorizes the U.S. to do its part in protecting global food systems is called the Global Food Security Act (GFSA). In 2016, it put our Feed the Future program - which addressed root causes of poverty, hunger, and malnutrition - into law. That successful program lifted approximately 23.4 million people above the poverty line with its innovations! Yet it will expire soon and must be renewed by 2023. 

Image: Panelists at 2022 CARE conference talk about the 
importance of the Global Food Security Act

The Global Food Security Act focuses on long term sustainability and resilience of food systems. We have seen in the last two years how disruptions in food supply from disease or war can globally affect food access for the vulnerable and food price increases for everyone. Emergency food helps people eat now. Strengthening food systems helps build long term resilience for all kinds of future emergencies. 

Build a Better GFSA

We are at a real crisis point with food security. More people in the world were already food insecure even before COVID-19 and war in the Ukraine started. We need to build up food systems, so we won't be so vulnerable to these kinds of shocks as well as things we can't even yet imagine. 

How does CARE want to make the next Global Food Security Act even better? As always, we know that putting women and girls at the center will improve policies. CARE believes the next GFSA should include:

• More support for savings groups that help women and girls involved in agriculture become more independent

• More support for small-scale farmers, particularly women, giving them better access to markets, credits, tools, fertilizer, and other assets

• Better integration of nutrition into food systems programming, including elevating women as household decision-makers on nutrition. 

How Can YOU Help? 

Call your representative this week and say, “My name is ______ and I’m your constituent living in _____. A new Global Food Security Action will be introduced soon by Representatives Betty McCollum and Chris Smith. I am asking you to be an original co-sponsor to support food systems and help make our world more resilient to disasters like disease, climate disasters, and war. Thank you.”

Image: Cynthia with Congresswoman Cori Bush

Get the Word Out: Letters to the Editor for Non-local Newspapers

Image: Cindy shouting into a megaphone

I know there are great media writers reading my blog who already have good relationships with their local newspapers. Fantastic! My local RESULTS St. Louis group got to that point a few years ago. We were very good at getting letters to the editor (LTE’s) published in newspapers around town. But we wondered, “How could we expand our media influence around our state?” In fact, a senate aide tole us they wanted to see us bring in media clips not only from our urban area, but from rural Missouri as well to show our influence in those areas.

I’ll share three tips we learned in case you’re looking to broaden your reach around your state and even into others. Getting published out of state is one of the few ways I can influence members of Congress out of my state. They may not have to represent me, but they definitely care what anyone says about them in the press!

If you’ve never written a letter to the editor before, pop over to my previous blog to check out basic tips for writing LTE’s. For a next step in generating more media, read on…

#1 Find a good headline from Associated Press News and submit several similar LTE’s at once

Editors love letters responding to articles in their own paper. Yet it can take time to look through many papers searching for a good headline “hook” related to your issue. The Associated Press can save you time!

Associated Press is a news service a lot of papers use, so they don’t have to use local resources to cover national news. If you find a headline that could be an excellent hook and the byline says Associated Press or “AP” on it, google that exact headline and it will probably turn up in several newspapers around the country. So, I can write one basic letter, then alter it a bit for each consecutive one until I respond to all of them, changing out the names of the members of Congress for the different publication areas. 

For instance, say you want to find an article about COVID-19 vaccines so you can write an LTE about global access. The AP put out an article called “Sweeping new vaccine mandates for 100 million Americans.” The same article was picked up in Denver, St Louis, Detroit, and Cedar Rapids among others. I can usually submit 6 or 7 letters using this method and maybe even get 2 or 3 of them published! Make sure each one is a slightly different, so they aren’t exact copies of each other.

Image: A headline with the Associated Press byline circled

Newspapers might change the headline a little, but they usually keep the first line of the article the same, so you could google the first line and possibly find even more.

#2 Try out-of-town newspapers in cities where you have a connection

For instance, my hometown newspaper in Fargo, North Dakota had a letter to the editor talking about the separation of church and state. I used that hook to say while the writer’s point was important, I also believe in being actively engaged in politics to live out the moral values I first learned as a child at Gethsemene Cathedral in Fargo. Mentioning my home church established my connection to their local community. I wrote about how people of many faiths support feeding malnourished people around the world and requested a global nutrition action from North Dakota senators.

Image: My Space Camper suited up
for a space walk simulation

For a paper in Oklahoma City, I might mention my mom lives there to reference a connection. I’ve also found newspapers amenable to printing your writing if you mention you travelled to the town for a beloved local attraction. When I took my daughter to Space Camp in Huntsville, AL and mentioned our trip in a piece while I stayed in town for a week, it was published immediately. 

#3 Respond to a colleague in the opinion section

This one works so well for me, it almost feels like cheating. If you know other activists who write LTE’s on the same issue, respond to their letters. I’ve lost track of the number of times my fellow RESULTS partner Willie Dickerson and I have landed published responses to each other’s letters, even though he lives in Washington State and I’m in Missouri. If I notice Willie has a letter in a newspaper far from where he actually lives, I automatically know they accept letters from out of town and that they would publish letters on our issues. So, I just write a letter to the editor saying I agree with him and mention a few more talking points about the same issue. This has the added benefit of going a little deeper into the issue than the original letter, so the members of Congress learn a little more.

Image: Willie Dickerson with my youngest daughter

Lastly, I’ll point out that some papers do not accept out-of-town letters at all. If you want a surefire list of papers around the country accepting of out-of-towners, I have a list of my published letters to the editor on my website. Any paper not in St. Louis is out-of-town for me, so they are fair game!

Let me know in the comment if any of these tips work for you or if you have some to add. Good luck!

Coping with Advocacy Stress

Advocacy is empowering, exciting, and inspiring! And yet, our world of divided politics also makes it frustrating and downright maddening. This is especially true for those who are not only advocates, but organizers shepherding the efforts of volunteers. “How do you cope!?” comes up again and again among activists in private conversations and public forums.

Legislative losses, internet trolls, misinformation, party politics, members of Congress who won’t listen, volunteer group members who don't respond to their group leaders…all of those are normal stressors for grassroots organizers. But throw in a dose of pandemic isolation and anxiety, and you have a solid recipe for activist burnout.

Despite how many well-meaning people like to call us “tireless activists,” that’s just not a true descriptor for most dedicated mom advocates. Tiredness is a frequent visitor. And Tiredness likes to bring along best buddy Overwhelm.

So, what are we to do?

Take Care of Ourselves

Photo: My walking path

For me, getting out to exercise in nature is a big part of restorative self-care. Getting away from humans for a while is important when particular humans are disappointing us in spectacular ways. Sandi Schwartz, the mom behind the Ecohappiness Project, always has suggestions on how parents and children can tap into the healing power of nature. She wrote a post about cow cuddling to reduce stress and now I want to go find a cow, but her usual tips are a bit more accessible to those of use who don't live on farms!

Photo: Cindy trying to decompress 
with a book at the nail salon 

After I check to see if I'm treating my body right with basic needs, pampering myself is another way I lift my spirits. Except...as I ventured back to the salon after 18 months of isolation, I found that actual human contact at a salon is rather anxiety-producing for me as the COVID-19 Delta variant races through Missouri. Luckily, Eva Milano has tips for an at-home scalp massage we can use to de-stress by ourselves.

Listen to the Experts

Those were a couple of my personal go-to suggestions, but a conversation at the virtual RESULTS International Conference revealed wisdom from some experienced activists who know a lot about advocacy burnout. Let’s learn from what they said when they reflected together on how to restore our powerful spirits.

"I look at the beauty around me and how grateful I am to be safe and I listen to audiobooks while knitting...preferably outside, weather permitting ."

Leslye Heilig

“I lean on my fellow advocates who are in a place of strength when I am not.” 

Cecilia van Wijk

“When advocacy is overwhelming for me I think of where I started with three little faces depending on me to ensure that they were provided with the best education and that they weren’t placed in a category and just left there. Now, I think of those faces and how much they have grown and how poverty has shaped each one of them. That helps me keep going. I don’t want them to ever have to experience poverty in their lifetime. I show them everyday that they have a voice and they can speak up. But when it’s overwhelming for them, I pick it up and run with it for them. My kids are my primary driver. Looking at how I grew up, I never wanted them to grow up the same way. So, I do what I can to ensure that they have better opportunities and that they don’t settle.”

Yolanda Gordon

“My kids help me stay motivated. I want to create a future where they never have to worry about being in poverty, and I think about all the moms out there struggling to care for their kids. As far as doing something to give myself a break, I like to have a dance party with my kids or belt out a song in my car or at karaoke (back when we could do that!)”

Lisa Peters

Photo: MLK Memorial in Washington DC

"When coping and self-care are key, I try to remember to rest, hydrate, and spend time with family, especially children. They bring hope and joy. Also, there is a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. that brings me up whenever I feel discouraged: 'The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.' Change will come even when we feel like we don't see it yet."

Karyne Bury

“I cope by thinking back and taking a trip down memory lane! I remember the times my family and I needed help. Back then, there wasn’t much help for a single black man with five children. I think back on the seven years of having to stay in a tent. I think about those times not being able to take a decent bath. I think about that and how I wish somebody had been there to fight and advocate for my family. We deserved a voice like mine ready for whatever when it comes to letting congressional leadership know about families like mine. It's so important for poverty to come to an end! This isn’t a job. This is a lifestyle! Me and poverty have a personal type of relationship, and I don’t want nobody in this world to have to live like we did! So I don’t see myself ever getting tired because I know one day I’ll look back and smile and be proud that I didn’t get tired of fighting for what every family deserves: a home and a strong foundation to grow and learn and live a poverty free life!”

La’Shon Marshall

"When I’m overwhelmed, I take a step back. I remind myself that I need to take care of my mind and body in order to be my best self. We must respect and love ourselves enough to take breaks when we need them. The work will be there when we are ready to return."

Keisha Perkins

"In my own volunteer commitments, I find it helpful to communicate my boundaries with the person in charge so I don’t get overwhelmed. For example, if I led on a big project one month, they know I expect to take a back seat for the next month or two, and they plan accordingly. That way I can give it my all without getting chronically overwhelmed."

Camille

What are YOUR tips for avoiding advocacy burnout?

Leave 'em in the comments!

Photo: RESULTS advocates in a Zoom lobby meeting

7 Tips for Networking at a Virtual Conference

 

A picture of my at-home workstation during
a virtual conference in a pandemic.

Virtual conferences have been a standard part of organizational life during the COVID-19 pandemic. Accessibility for folks who can't travel was such a positive outcome for advocacy groups that I predict we’ll see them continue to offer virtual components to conferences even when we can gather again. So many new activists were able to participate! On the other hand, it’s been difficult to recreate networking opportunities through our computer screens.

My first virtual conference felt rather unsatisfying. Sure, I learned new information by watching speakers, but I longed for the relationship-building part of an in-person conference. I didn’t feel like I met many new people and resolved to do better with each successive conference.

Since then, I’ve learned a few ways to make the most of networking during a virtual conference. Every conference is different depending on which platforms they choose and how they choose to use them. But they usually contain some common features - like zoom meetups, pre-conference chat discussions, and Q&A opportunities - that can raise your visibility and help you get to know people. 

RESULTS uses the Whova platform to host the conference event, info,
and community discussions. This is a screen capture of the agenda window.

My main piece of advice is: get in there and participate! But how? Here are my seven tips for making the most of a virtual conference:

1. Be Positive

Humans gravitate to people who are positive and encouraging. I believe this is especially true in when virtually interacting with a group of strangers. You might possess a razor-sharp, wry wit in face-to-face encounters yet that never seems to come through well in typed comments. I’ve seen things go awry when someone takes it upon themselves to criticize someone else’s answer to a getting-to-know-you ice breaker question. I mean…what the heck? If their preference isn’t racist or hurtful, don’t “yuck their yum” (as the head of my kids’ school would say).

I have another reason for staying positive...my kids attend RESULTS conferences with me online. As a mom, I wouldn't want to write anything out on those apps that I'd be embarrassed for my kids to read! So, assume the best intentions of people, lay off the all-caps key, and remember that it’s even easier to walk away from an irritating situation on a computer than it is in real life.

2. Ask Insightful Questions

A picture of me raising my hand.

I’ve been in conferences where participants were shy to ask the first question. It made for many awkward pauses in Q&A sections. Now, I try to come up with at least one question before the session even starts. A thoughtful question can help get the ball rolling (great for everyone) and make a good impression on others (great for your networking).

To inspire ideas for questions, read session descriptions beforehand and maybe even google the speakers. Keep your question concise and on topic. Pay attention during the session to make sure you won’t ask about something that was already covered. Most of the time, virtual conferences just have folks write questions in a chat box, but if you get to turn your microphone or camera, be sure to say your name and your city before your question.

3. Be Helpful

A friendly, helpful attitude is a way to attract positive attention from attendees and organizers alike. For instance, I attended a writing conference where everyone first joined a main room while all session content was in several breakout rooms with different names. People could step out and interact in the main room anytime, but there were often clueless participants in there trying to find their way around, too. I was one of the clueless people at first! To help others costs nothing and creates a lot of goodwill.

4. Expand Your Social Media Network

Logos of Facebook, Twitter,
and LinkedIn

We can’t hand anyone a physical business card, but virtual conferences have the advantage of displaying names of participants. Some use large zoom rooms where you can see names underneath pictures. Some conferences use apps that list all the participants with profiles, so you can see if you share similar professional or social interests. Take advantage of the ability to see names by connecting with them on social media platforms like LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram. That way you can continue your conversations well after the conference is over.

5. Stay On Topic

When overzealous participants fill the conference apps with off topic links or comments, it can be super annoying. It can also push relevant posts so far down that others can’t find information they want. If the conference app lets you share articles, make sure you share links to pieces related to the focus of the conference. Some people try to connect with others by sharing different interests, but sharing too many unrelated posts and articles can have the opposite effect by irritating fellow participants.

6. Try Out New Technology

My teens love to tease me about how I don’t like to download new apps to my phone or computer. I’m turning into an old curmudgeonly lady who doesn’t like to learn how to use new-fangled things. But if you don’t commit to learning to use each conference platform to the fullest, you’re excluding yourself from networking opportunities!

CARE held a virtual 75th Anniversary event with that used “proximity voice chat” to create a cocktail party experience. (Anyone who plays Among Us is familiar with that tech) We uploaded pictures of ourselves, so we could move our avatars around the screen. If you moved closer to another group of avatars, you could converse with them. If you moved farther away, you couldn’t hear them anymore, much like an actual party. There was also a screen in the virtual room that had some content playing. I could have just parked myself by the movie screen and simply watched the recorded content since I was clumsy at using the unfamiliar platform. Instead, I made myself use it and connected with old and new friends in a way that was really engaging!

7. Make Space for Others

Yes, networking requires you to be visible and active, but take care not to dominate the conversation. For instance, if you share so many articles and links in the conference app that it pushes other people's suggestions right off of the visible list, you've essentially cut them out of the conversation even if you mean well. (I've made that mistake before) 

You can participate in a way that helps others be comfortable in sharing their thoughts. I believe the best kinds of interactions are ones where you create room for others to shine, too! Pre-conference chats are not quiz shows where you need to be first with the best answer.

By the way, this is especially important advice for white folks. Virtual conferences have not removed the habits of white privilege. I try to promote myself in a way that demonstrates an ability to be kind, humble, and sensitive to others.

What are YOUR tips for networking at virtual conferences?

Snow covering a lantern and a tree with pink blossoms.

Yesterday afternoon, my activist daughter and I talked about the triple-guilty verdict in the Minneapolis trial of Derek Chauvin yesterday. I was in a mental place of expressing relief for a verdict my cynical heart had predicted to go the other way. She was in a place of continuing the fight for justice. She asked me (this is my paraphrasing of her question), “What difference does this verdict make in our actions? There is still so much to do.”

She’s right. We still live in a broken system overshadowed by oppression and white supremacy. But I tried to describe how on-the-edge this has felt for mom-friends with Black children. It’s hard for me to explain it when I can’t experience the depth of their anxiety myself. But I do know a thing or two about the draining long-term effects of activism.

Snow Days for Advocates

Snow upon pink spring blossoms.

It hurts to advocate for years and years on a thing that never really seems to change whether you're working on climate, tuberculosis, or gun violence. It’s even worse for my friends who feel real and active fear when their Black children are quickly growing into Black teens. I tried to make a comparison that a major trial verdict like this is like a Snow Day for advocates. Remember that feeling when you have a ton of schoolwork, but then you wake up one morning to heavy snow blanketing the ground? When you hear that school cancellation announcement, you KNOW you’re still responsible for all the work. But for a few hours, you can lay aside your burden and not fight that particular fight.

Snow on a blossoming tree against a
pine tree in the background.

A Killing Frost

As I said those words, a rare St. Louis April snow fell amidst our spring blossoms. The Snow Day seemed like a suitable metaphor. Then, tweets started coming in from Ohio about the police shooting of 15-year-old Ma’Khia Bryant. They reminded me we weren’t even a week away from the killing of Daunte Wright by a police officer at a traffic stop in Minneapolis. It changed the way I looked at the snow on the flowers. Suddenly, it seemed more like a killing chill threatening the beauty of progress in the season.

I sat watching the quiet, falling flakes. The hopeful thought entered my mind that the snow might indeed kill those blossoms, but it won’t kill the trees. Their roots, like the grass on the lawn, run deep. There’s a reason we call activism from regular folks “grassroots advocacy.” You can mow the grass down or you can freeze the blades. But if the roots are deep and healthy, grass will come back again and again. Some movements are young and fragile, like the young pea shoots in my backyard garden. We must nurture and protect them, so they can later withstand the coming heat of summer. (I covered the peas up with tarps in the morning before the snow)

We’re Both Right

Today, I’m more of my daughter’s mindset. I think of end of the Thurgood Marshall biopic, “Marshall,” where he didn’t even stick around in town to hear the verdict of the big case because he was already in another town with another trial. We must keep moving ahead as a country. Yesterday, however, I needed to lean into the relief I felt. Especially as we get older and see more wins and losses, we need to learn to stop and take a pause when we see accountability or progress. It strengthens us in our long journey toward justice.

Snow on purple flowers.

Strategic Acts of Kindness

Last week was “Random Acts of Kindness Week,” a time to encourage people to make life more pleasant for everyone. Organizers at randomactsofkindness.org encouraged actions like leaving positive notes around town and feeding meters for strangers. I would never argue with that notion. The world needs more kindness! But now that the week for random acts is over, I think it’s time to also embrace “strategic acts of kindness.”

Random acts of hatred have risen dramatically in the United States. Our country has seen repeated damage to Jewish cemeteries and bomb threats to Jewish community centers. The highest office of the U.S. has issued unconstitutional travel bans targeting Muslims. People of all kinds of skin tones other than the old Crayola crayon "flesh" color are shouted at to "Go home!" when they've lived in the U.S. their whole lives. Racism, sexism, and xenophobia are becoming increasingly normalized in political discussions and in everyday conversations. 

In the face of such a disturbing reality, we must take powerful actions to protect those who suffer disproportionately in this world because of religion, race, gender, or any number of factors. People of every political stripe are waking up and wanting to have a voice in the direction our country is heading. However, many regular folks don’t have the first idea about how to reach our nation’s decision makers.

That’s where strategic acts of kindness come in. In my former career as an engineer, I found random actions led to random results. Intentional strategy is needed to combat random acts of hatred or – even worse – systematic acts of oppression in our country and around the world.

Bread for the World volunteers handwrite letters to Congress
at church after a Sunday worship service.

What could this sort of organized love look like? Setting aside time each day to call members of Congress to voice your opinion. Holding a meeting with friends to write letters to elected officials. Submitting a letter to the editor. Sitting down with a senator or representative face to face to voice your opinion with respect. In fact, these are the very actions that U.S. representatives and senators consistently report as the most influential ways a constituent can sway their opinion.

If you don’t know how to do these things right now, that’s not a problem. Before I learned how to raise my voice, I was a stay-at-home mom who didn’t even know the names of my senators. I only knew that my community and my world allowed babies in poverty to suffer from poor health and I wanted to help. By getting involved with reputable advocacy organizations like RESULTS, I was able to receive training, support, and inspiration to become a skilled advocate. In time, I learned to effectively advise policy makers, guiding them towards decisions that improve access to education, health, and economic opportunity.

Richard Smiley and I meet with Senator Durbin about
microfinance to help the poorest families of the world.

What could we accomplish together if we could channel outrage and dissent into deliberate actions to change the future in positive ways? The possibilities are endless. Look at the massive problem of global poverty, widely regarded as unsolvable. Years of coordinated volunteer advocacy have pressured the U.S. to partner with other countries on global health, nutrition, and education programs. Since 1990, the number of people living in extreme poverty worldwide has been cut by more than half! With enough engaged citizens creating the political will to stand up for ourselves and people in need, there is no limit to the good we could do.

It is critical that we empower ourselves with the skills needed to speak out to the presidential administration and our members of Congress. Compassionate civic engagement is what our situation demands of us today. Together, we can navigate the combative ugliness of our time by rising above it. It’s time to move beyond the random. We can shape the future by committing to strategic acts of kindness.

Gaining Inspiration from #Malala

Today, I'm honored to post the writing of a guest blogger, Shruti, a good friend of my daughter. She wrote the following piece about Malala Yousafzai for her 7th grade class. I was moved by her last paragraph about how she has been inspired by Malala to help girls around the world to access education. She told me about her family trip to India, where she got to visit a school for girls who had previously been denied education by their families. Even though their families did not put value on education for girls, their community came together to create the school and put pressure on the their parents to let them come.

Shruti and the members of RESULTS St Louis visiting
the aide of U.S. Representative Ann Wagner

Shruti got a chance hear firsthand about how the students felt about their new opportunities. One student still cries every morning when she arrives because she is so grateful to be getting the education she thought was out of her reach. Another girl used to actually dream at night about how it would feel to hold a pencil in her hand...she never thought she would have that chance in real life! I was so moved by these stories that I asked her to tell these stories to an aide in the office of our U.S. representative. I'm so happy she came with our RESULTS group to speak out. She bravely told her story with sincerity and passion, helping us make the case for why we want our U.S. representative to fund the Global Partnership for Education at a level of $125 Million for fiscal year 2018.

To learn more about the value of educating girls and the life of Malala, please enjoy Shruti's essay...

A Girl With Knowledge : A Girl with Power

by Shruti, 7th grade

With every extra year of quality education, a girl earns 20% more as an adult. There are millions of girls around the world who don’t get to learn to read or write because they are forced to work around the house and get married early. Many others simply can’t afford school because of war or poverty in their countries. A few years ago, a young girl named Malala Yousafzai began working towards providing girls around the world with quality education..

Speaking Out

In 2009, Malala had started writing a blog for the BBC Urdu service under a pseudonym. Most of her blog posts were about Malala’s opinion of the Taliban banning girls from going to school and destroying school buildings. A few months afterwards, she was featured in a New York Times documentary, and was revealed as the author of the BBC blog.

Threatened

Malala, and her father, Ziauddin Yousafzai, began receiving death threats from the Taliban. Two years later, in 2011, Malala received Pakistan’s first National Youth Peace Prize. Seeing her progress and recognizing the fact that Malala was gaining popularity, the Taliban  leaders  decided  to  kill her.  

Attacked

On October 9, 2012, young education activist Malala Yousafzai was shot by the Taliban for speaking out about girls’ right to education, while she rode her bus back home from school.

When Malala was shot, people all around the world rose to her defense, and began rallying for girls’ education with more enthusiasm than had ever been witnessed for this cause.

Sticking With Her Dream

Flash forward to early 2013 — Malala gave her first speech after recovery at the UN. Even after being shot, and going through a long recovery, Malala said that “Education is the only solution. Education First.”  Recently, on her eighteenth birthday, Malala opened a school in Lebanon for Syrian refugee girls.

How Many Girls Don’t Receive The Education They Need?

As stated on the Malala Fund website, 32 million girls eligible for elementary through middle school are still out of school around the world. School enrollment rates for girls have improved over the past ten years, yet more than 30 million girls between ages 9 and 15 are still out of school today. Most of them will never enter a classroom.

Another 98 million girls are missing out on secondary education. Millions more are missing out on the final years of secondary schooling but are not being counted. Girls are often under pressure to drop out of school, even if they have completed basic education.

The Benefits of A Quality Education

According to “Girls' education: A lifeline to development” found on UNICEF’s website, studies from a number of countries suggest that an additional year of schooling would increase a woman's future salary by about 15 %, compared with 11 % for a man.

Educated girls are more likely to avoid getting married as a child, and usually have fewer children than girls who don’t have access to education.

How Many Have We Actually Helped?

According to Dr. Geeta Rao Gupta, former president of the International Centre for Research on Women, the education target has made an important difference in the lives of girls and women.
“Action and investments of dollars into women’s constraints and needs has increased. And that has resulted in some progress.” said Dr. Rao Gupta.

“The girls who are left behind are the ones who are most in need – and these are poor girls, those who belong to minority populations within their countries and those who live in rural areas,” Dr. Rao Gupta added. “Unfortunately, they are the ones who still have not received the benefits of the various investments made in most countries around the world.”

What Can We Do To Help?

Even a small contribution would help us reach the point where every girl has access to good education. Hosting small fundraisers, donating towards the cause, or even rallying for it are ways that would be beneficial. Many non-profit organizations write letters to the governments of multiple developed countries, asking them to step in and try to improve the accessibility to education for girls around the world. Together, we can achieve our goal of providing every girl with a quality education.

                 We are so fortunate to receive education and get a chance to make our own future. Many children around the world never get that chance. I think about all those times I have complained about homework assignments. I think of all those times I have whined about studying for a test. And I realize what an important opportunity I have — I can work towards going to my dream college and I have a job I have always thought about having. After writing this article and reading about girls all around the world who dream of holding a pencil and a notebook, I know for sure that I will never forget to appreciate my education and will try my best to contribute towards girls’ education.