Sometimes You Have to Break a Few Eggs

Hey, look what happened to me this morning as I was in a hurry to make the kids some breakfast! Splat. Broken egg. Wasted food. Wasted time cleaning it up. Clumsy mommy. Luckily, I still had a few more eggs in the carton and as I stood there watching them cook, I thought of this old saying...

"If you want to make an omelette, you're going to have to break a few eggs."

In addition to being literally true, it's a good reminder for activist moms like me who are juggling other roles like "mommy" and "wife." 

A work in progress

I've noticed that on days that I'm the best homemaker, I'm not the best advocate. When I'm on a roll being Best Mom, chances are high that I'm not simultaneously winning the award for Most Empathic Wife. Whenever I'm really killing it with my advocacy work (having a number of face to face meetings in a month or taking a trip to DC), that's usually when my husband and I have the most disagreements about household cleanliness. When I'm totally on top of everything and getting compliments from my husband on how organized I am...those are the times when I've not written a single word on my book-in-progress for weeks. It's great, of course, to feel appreciated for being an attentive mother and homemaker, but those aren't the only things I want to be. What a bummer to realize the only time I excel at homemaking is when I'm blatantly hiding and procrastinating on working on the biggest, hardest project in my life (i.e. the book-in-progress).

This used to depress me...until I started paying attention to what was happening to other moms around me and realized I wasn't alone. I started hearing more and more stories like mine, especially from mothers who were still navigating careers along with motherhood. Many of them aren't advocates, but a lot of us are thinking the same thing anyway about our multiple-identity lives.

Meredith Boggess shared some of her thoughts with me about making the transition to motherhood. "The hardest adjustment for me to make was to not try to be the best at everything. It just isn't possible," she observed. Meredith is a successful Director of Marketing at Buckingham Family of Financial Services, a wealth advisory firm based in the St Louis area. She continued,

"Being the best employee, the best wife, the best mom, the best friend...it's all too much to keep up with all the time. To try to do all of that stresses out the kids and the spouse as well as the mom." 

When we talked, it really hit me that I could get much farther by dropping the word "best" out of these inner-voice conversations. Of course, I'm not the first person to figure this out and that's why you can go out and read a book called "Good Enough Parenting" or a blog called "GoodEnoughMother.com" 

These may not be examples of the calmest 

ducks, but they're cute!

For the record, every time I see Meredith, she's always a calm and very well put together lady. Which makes me think of another quote that comes up on the internet a lot (cited as a quote from many different sources, including actor Michael Caine): 

"Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like the dickens underneath!" 

Voila! A delicious masterpiece!

I don't think there's ever any mom that ever has everything totally under control. But I do think the thing that keeps me moving forward is to keep my eye on the goal. Some balls may be dropped. Some eggs may be broken both literally and figuratively. But for the most part, my family is able to bounce back from my missteps as long as everyone is communicating and trying to be as kind to each other as we can be...and together we are saving lives and ending poverty. A beautiful omelette, indeed!

Keeping the Motivation UP!

I had a tough run this week. 11 miles training for my RESULTS fundraising half-marathon run. The distance wasn't even what made it so hard. It was the fact that I had to get it done while my 9-yr-old was getting ready for school. It was broken up into chunks while I was multi-tasking. Here's what it looked like:

Starting back again at zero
miles is depressing after
running 6 already!

• 5 miles on the treadmill before anyone got up
• Wake daughter
• 2 miles outside while husband was still home
• Make sure kid's doing chores and eating breakfast. Goodbye to husband
• 4 more miles on the treadmill

5+2+4=11. Whew.

Two miles outside made kept up my spirts
for the 9 miles on the treadmill

It's incredibly hard to keep focus on an exhausting task when you are interrupted and doing other things at the same time. Inertia can sometimes be your friend since an object in motion tends to stay in motion. But it can be your enemy since an object at rest tends to stay at rest. Getting back onto that treadmill was the hardest thing I've done all month.

This is not unlike what happens when you play the long game in activism, working on an issue like global vaccines. We fight and lobby for immunizations for children to secure funding for the GAVI, the vaccine alliance and fight diseases like polio, measles, and rotovirus. Sometimes we have big wins, but sometimes there are long distracting pauses in the legislative process during which life happens. Congress is in recess. Kids soccer games, choir performances, and scouting activities happen. School happens. We forget about what we were doing and when appropriations season (the time when Congress decides how much money to give in a year) or pledging time (the time when the President decides how much the U.S. should be giving) comes around, we have to fire up our engines all over again. But I do. Because this is important. Way more important than my run this morning.

It's so easy to think that we can let the issue go because vaccines are kind of a no-brainer in the fight for global health. They are a "best buy" when you think about the value of a low-cost vaccine that buys a child lifelong protection from disease. How do you even put a value on the precious life of a child? And the value on the dignity of a mother who was protected by immunizations as an infant so she can work to provide for her own kids free of illness?...priceless. With all the benefits to saving lifes and bolstering of world economy, you'd think that it would be automatic for Congress to pass adequate funding.

But it's not automatic. 

It's a fight. Every. Time.

One of my Twitter followers saw my updates urging people to tweet the White House to ask the administration to pledge $1 Billion over the next 4 years for GAVI. He did take the action, but said something insightful. He stands up for issues that are little known or publicized, like human trafficking - which is very admirable and I strive to do the same - but tweeted that he expects our elected officials to take care of those widely known issues without his input. 

I'm glad he voiced this. I understand that viewpoint and it's true that it's hard to stand up for all things all the time. Sadly, though, it's just not true that lawmakers do the moral and smart thing even if the benefits are well-known. I've been on the losing side of advocacy battles, too, when child health programs have been slashed on the state or federal level. 

This is why it's important to keep up the momentum and remember to strap on your shoes and get back in the race at those key moments for global vaccines...like this moment. Right now!

We are on the cusp of the pledging event where all the world's nations will send representation to Berlin to publicly say how much they will pledge to the GAVI Alliance. We want the U.S. to step up and pledge $1 billion over 4 years to the GAVI Alliance, which will have the effect of saving 6 million kids' lives.   

Will you join me in getting back in the game?

Three EASY ways you can join the fight for children's lives:

1. Sign this petition from the ONE Campaign to the White House.
2. Tweet the White House with this message: "Friends, PLEASE Retweet: @WhiteHouse save over 6M kids' lives by pledging $1B over 4 yrs to @GAVI #AYAAction #VaccinesWork"
3. Call the White House by dialing 1-888-213-2881, which will connect you directly to the White House comment line. When the operator comes on the line, tell them: “I am asking President Obama to help save 6 million children’s lives by pledging 1 billion dollars over the next four years to Gavi, the Vaccine Alliance. Thank you.” (If you're worried about this one, go see my past blog about how easy calling in really is.)

I hope you will join me in taking one or all of these actions. Even taking all of them would take less than 20 min, but have enormous impact on our planet while costing you no money...except for your taxes and you have every right to weigh in on what they are spent on. Help us keep up the motivation!