Finding My Zoom: #CareGiversForHarris

Image: Izamar Barrios speaking on the #CaregiversForHarrisvirtual rally
with the closed caption of her quote "I stand proud saying I'm a caregiver."

When I first got invitations from friends to attend a virtual political rally called “White Women for Harris,” it unsettled me. As a mixed-race person, the well-meaning invite stirred up uncomfortable memories of feeling like a non-white outsider. Then, I heard that more Zoom rallies were happening attached to other identities: “South Asian Women for Harris,” “White Dudes for Harris” (with THE Dude Jeff Bridges, no less!), “Out for Kamala Harris,” “Outdoor Community for Harris,” “Deadheads for Kamala,” and, of course, “Cat Ladies for Kamala.” Ah…I get it now!

Using Identity Politics to Bring Us Together

Identity politics has been shaping elections for years. The Harris campaign is cleverly tapping into it in a way that seems to separate folks on the surface, but actually says, “There is room for everyone in this movement.” I felt better when I understood it wasn’t all about race, but more about communities. Where Trump uses race politics at his rallies to divide his followers from others to create a sense of belonging for his base, Harris is naming all these different identities to help us feel at home in our virtual rallies, then draw us together under a big, inclusive umbrella.

Image: My vacuum cleaner all 
cleaned out and fixed using #MomPower

So, which Zoom should I choose? I knew I should get on one to witness the phenomenon, but having missed “Authors for Harris,” I wasn’t sure what to pick. Then, “Caregivers for Harris” appeared in an email from MomsRising advocacy group. Bingo! That’s on-brand for me as someone who speaks and writes about mom-advocacy! #CaregiversForHarris is for “all of us who need care, rely on care, and give care in our lives.” I might have been on the literal eve of empty-nesting (we were packing to take the youngest kid to college the next day!), but I’ve been giving care to my kids for 20 years and this was the call for me. Also on-brand was the fact that I was mommy multi-tasking by watching the Zoom and simultaneously fixing a vacuum cleaner.

Finding Commonality and Joy

Supportive, familiar leaders - Kristen Rowe-Finkbeiner, Executive Director of MomsRising, and Elena Hung, co-founder of Little Lobbyists - who were kind to lend their words and wisdom to the pages of my book showed up on the screen. Yup, these are my people. I was in the right place!

I heard story after story from care givers, struggling to provide for the kids and parents they love at the sacrifice of jobs and sleep and self-care. I expected to witness their determination and hardship. I did NOT expect to see such joy and energy! Sure, we talk about caring for kids with joy, but it's a trickier dance to navigate serious issues like caring for people with failing health or mental capacity yet still convey joy and enthusiasm. Having Seth Rogen and his wife Lauren Miller Rogen talk about Lauren's family history of caring for family with dementia and their advocacy on the issue added to the nuanced presentation. The number of times I'm hearing the word "joy" connected with this campaign makes me smile and feel more hopeful. Shouldn't that be what a rally is about? I have not felt such hope from a political event since the 2008 Obama campaign! 

Single-Issue Voter?

Image: Elena Hung speaking on #CaregiversForHarris

I want to share a portion of Elena Hung’s remarks because she hit a point that resonated with me as a non-partisan activist. For context, Elena is the co-founder of Little Lobbyists, a family-led group advocating for children with complex medical needs and disabilities. She said,

“For the past decade, I have been a single issue voter. That issue? My daughter. I enthusiastically vote for whoever fights for Xiomara to survive and thrive. And not just Xiomara, but all kids with disabilities like her. They deserve a childhood. They deserve to live at home and grow up in their communities. They deserve fully funded home and community-based services. Kamala Harris has been by our side defending the Affordable Care Act when she was a U.S. senator and leading the Care Agenda in the Biden Administration as our vice president. She listens. She understands, and she has lived our lives. She was a caregiver to her mother when she was diagnosed with cancer. She gets it, she gets it. That’s what we want in our leaders!”

I get that. Before parenthood, I wasn’t an active participant in my government and had little political opinion. Caring for my kids shaped how I feel about all kinds of policies, but those policies always connect to their safety and well-being or the well-being of other children...even when those children live on the other side of the world. And it’s not a far leap for me to empathize with people struggling with policies that make it difficult to care for their elders. So, yes, I’m a non-partisan advocate, but when election season rolls around, I DO choose sides.

I support whoever is fighting to keep kids well-fed, well-cared for, safe from gun violence, breathing clean air, drinking clean water, choosing what’s right for their bodies, and living in the best future we can make for them. This Election Day on November 5th, I’ll be voting for Kamala Harris for President this November and I hope you will, too! If you'd like to see the recording of #CaregiversForHarris virtual rally, you can see it on YouTube here. If you want to support her campaign, donate at this link or scan the QR code below today. 

But most importantly, visit vote.org to check your voter registration and get info on absentee ballots or whatever you need to get ready to vote!

Image: QR code to donate to 
Harris-Walz campaign

Image: Book cover

Buy an autographed copy of "From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started" at my website www.changyit.com or order it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or any independent bookstore!

Add to the College To-Do List: Absentee Voting!

Image: Sign on UW-Madison's Bascom Hill saying #BADGERSVOTE
Photo Credit: Yara Changyit-Levin

Image: A disorganized pile of belongings meant
to be packed for college.

A heap of my child's belongings is growing on my dining room table. Every day it grows, and things are even sliding off the top. Do I yell at her to put them away? No. They are exactly where they should be. This is the staging area where she gathers things she'll need for her freshman year of college.

If you have a college-bound student, you're probably hounding them with never-ending To-Do lists. Collect everything on the college packing list, visit the dentist and eye doctor, refill prescriptions, replace the ratty tennis shoes, and don’t forget to get a haircut, please! But I have one last thing of utmost importance for you to do if your child will be 18 or older by Election Day…register to vote and register for ABSENTEE voting.

Out-of-state college kids will not be home for their very first presidential election. This is true not only for the incoming freshmen but also for anyone who wasn’t old enough to vote in 2020, including my oldest child who will enter their third year of college this fall.

With stakes riding high on issues that affect college students so directly (like, climate, reproductive rights, and gun violence), we need to make sure every eligible voter can cast their vote without problems. It’s tempting to say they can take care of it later, but it’s not easy for new adults to navigate ever-changing voting systems. For example, my state of Missouri requires a notary for excused absentee voting. Many incoming freshmen have never even heard of a notary, much less know where to find one on a campus they’ve never lived on before! Better to take care of the things parents can help with now, so that kids can be free to do things in October like hunt for notary offices, canvas for candidates, and help other students get their ballots.

Image: Yara holding a URL code in front of 
the #BADGERSVOTE sign.
Photo credit: Yara Changyit-Levin

In November of 2022, my oldest child, Yara Changyit-Levin, was a 18-year-old activist discovering how difficult it was for UW-Madison students who waited until the last day to figure out how to vote. As part of the Sunrise Movement, they travelled to Wisconsin to help students vote on campus and assist in encouraging friends to vote as well. (See our blog about it here) For out-of-state students, it wasn't as simple as showing up at a polling place. Yara intercepted several out-of-staters who didn't know they had to go to a specific building to fill out a form before casting a ballot. Woe to those who waited for the last minute and couldn't make the run across campus on time! Of course, it was far too late to vote for candidates in their home state.

Vote.org

Every state has their own rules for absentee voting that can vary widely. In lucky Colorado, every voter receives a mail ballot! I can’t cover everything everyone needs in this blog. But I will point you to the www.vote.org website. Besides an anxiety-producing countdown to election day, you’ll find links to help people in every state find resources to check their registration, register to vote, and vote by mail.

Missouri Voting Rules

If you live in Missouri, which many of my readers do, here is a link from the St. Louis County Board of Elections: https://stlouiscountymo.gov/st-louis-county-government/board-of-elections/elections/absentee-voting/

That’s where I got this handy Missouri absentee voting chart. If you know you’ll be away from home on Election Day and the two weeks leading up to it, you’ll need to apply online, by email, fax, mail, or in person. Out-of-state college students fall in that category. This option is open now and the deadline is two weeks prior to election day.

Image: Absentee voting quick reference guide from the 
St. Louis Board of Elections

Keep in mind, you can’t just drop something in a mailbox two weeks before. The Board of Elections must receive and process it two weeks prior to Election Day at 5PM.

This absentee registration means you’ll get an absentee ballot sent to you. If your child doesn’t have a school address yet, have it sent to your home and make sure they get it ASAP when you see it. They will need to fill out the ballot and then take it to a notary on or near campus. Common places for notaries include banks, libraries, and campus financial aid/services offices, but that will vary by campus. Your kid will have to bring the ballot there in person along with a valid photo ID that meets state requirements (driver’s license, passport, military ID). Payment might also be required depending on the notary, but it’s usually $5 or less.

“What If My Kid Doesn’t Register Before Leaving?”

Don’t panic if they don’t finish this task before moving to school. Most states can register citizens to vote online and have other options besides in-person absentee voting registration, like email or US postal services. In Missouri, family members like parents, step-parents, grandparents, and even in-laws can request it for the voter if your kid truly can’t figure it out.

Youth Voter Turnout

The last presidential election showed a significant jump in youth voter turnout. It was at a high of 55% not seen since 1972, up from 44% in the 2016 presidential election. (Data from Statista.com)

Image: Data from Statista.org showing percent voter turnout for presidential elections
from 1972 to 2020. Photo credit: www.Statista.org

In an era when adults are letting kids down so badly, youth voices are critical to shape a future of their own making. Let’s give them every opportunity to make their votes count!

Image: Book cover

Buy an autographed copy of "From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started" at my website www.changyit.com or order it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or any independent bookstore!

How Do We Cope with the State of the World?

This week I attended a web session facilitated by a group called “DC Peace Team.” It was a space for RESULTS volunteers like me to share how global conflict affects how we show up as advocates.

Image: Tourists in South Korea shield with
umbrellas against stormy weather by the sea.

Our facilitators asked us for a “weather report,” a summary of how we felt about the state of global conflict put into a weather metaphor. I think people find it easier to talk about the weather than share such personal feelings immediately with strangers. The reports varied, but none of them were sunny! We had “stormy,” “in the eye of a hurricane,” and even “cloudy with a chance of meatballs." I described myself as living in the musical Hadestown, where the weather is either oppressively hot so that I can barely function on my normal issues (like poverty or gun violence) or frozen because I just don’t know what to do on unfamiliar issues that seem out of my control (like Ukraine or Gaza).

We talked through a lot of more specific feelings, but I’ll cut to the end to give you takeaways I found most helpful to get moving again.

Remember you are ONE

“I am only one, but I AM one.
I can’t do everything, but I can do SOMETHING.
I won’t let what I can’t do interfere with what I CAN do.“

Image: Cindy (bottom left, pink jacket) standing in front
of the US Capitol as one of many ONE Campaign activists.

Our session leader shared this quote, and it resonated with me. It’s a paraphrased quote by American author and Unitarian minister Edward Everett Hale (sometimes mis-attributed to Anne Frank) in 1902, but it rings as true now in 2024. Sometimes the magnitude of problems before us can lead to that "frozen" or "moving through molasses" feeling. But if I can free myself from the misconception that I’m supposed to do everything and remember that I am part of a large movement of people all working together…then I can refocus on doing my part. This is not entirely new to me. I once wrote a blog about how pulling on my own little thread of justice helps unravel the whole cloth of oppression. In that post, I said, "Don't become so frustrated about how you can't solve everything, that you fail to do something." Still, a new quote or metaphor can breathe new life into an old truth.

If you'd like a song along these same lines, I recommend Pat Humphries' song "In This Life," which contains the lyrics, "I am one, but one of many single voices in the silence that refuse the lies that bind us. We are worthy, we are safe."

Celebrate and amplify good news

When it seems like the world is full of bad news all around and then a piece of good news finds its way to you…celebrate! Share it with others who might need that boost, too! Maybe it’s something personal, like your child graduating from high school. Or, maybe it’s something huge and global like yesterday’s win for Gavi, the Vaccine Alliance that RESULTS, Shot@Life, and the ONE Campaign collectively campaigned for this year!

Image: Cindy smiling in front of a Shot@Lifebackdrop
holding a sign for Sustainable Development Goal #3:
Good Health and Well-being

First Lady Dr. Jill Biden announced a U.S. pledge of at least $1.58 billion over five years to Gavi. An early, increased pledge from the U.S. was NOT a guarantee even a few months ago. Advocates building bipartisan backing in Congress played a HUGE role in this. With major threats to global aid funding, a bold increased pledge to Gavi is an extraordinary sign of commitment...even more so in an election year!

It’s the first time the U.S. has ever made a 5-year pledge, the largest U.S. figure ever, and it is the first government pledge to kick off the road to Gavi’s replenishment, making it a really important signal to other donor countries. Gavi has already reached 1 billion children with lifesaving vaccines, and now have a plan in place to reach ANOTHER 1 billion children in HALF the time. They'll reach more kids, with more new vaccines, faster.

Writing this blog and telling you about the Gavi pledge is part of how I’m celebrating and amplifying today!

Start small, but start now

One of my long-time fellow RESULTS advocates reminded me of a quote from our colleague Nick Arena who said,

"Don't wait to be inspired to take an action. If you want to be inspired, take an action!" 

I find that if I can summon the energy to take even a small, easy action (like writing a two line postcard to Congress), that will usually kindle a little momentum to move me toward a bigger action (like writing a letter to the editor or organizing a bunch of people to write letters). Go ahead. Impress yourself! 

Do something for yourself that benefits no one but you

This one is about your own mental health. I picked up the phrasing from my new friend and fellow St. Louis activist/author Ben V. Greene, author of “My Child is Trans, Now What?: A Joy Centered Approach to Support." At his book launch talk, he responded to a question about activist burnout with this advice and added that for him that might look like Dungeons & Dragons. For me, it might be a glass of wine and a puzzle or an ‘80s arcade game. Whatever it is for you, set aside time to do the thing that regulates your senses and restores your equilibrium.

Cartoon by Gemma Correll 2022 of
a person trying to relax.

I saw a cartoon from Gemma Correll’s Instagram of a stressed out person trying to relax and thinking, “There must be a way of relaxing that’s more productive.” Ha! That’s totally been me as a multi-tasking, stressed-out mom-activist. But NO!...unless you're a crafter. I do relax by quilting and sewing and get immense satisfaction from a finished product. So, crafters get a pass on that one if we get joy just in the thing's making.

Share your thoughts

I hope this post is helpful to folks weathering their own storms, but it’s not a comprehensive list at all! So, you tell me. What do you do to help yourself get moving again when you feel overwhelmed by the state of the world?

Image: Book cover

Buy an autographed copy of "From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started" at my website www.changyit.com or order it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or any independent bookstore!