Coalition Work: Playing Nicely in the Sandbox

I’ve been thinking about coalition work in advocacy a lot lately…the art of bringing separate organizations together to work on a common goal and with a positive and constructive attitude. Metaphorically speaking, coordinating volunteers in one organization can be an exercise in herding cats. Why would you add more kitties? How do we keep the sandbox from becoming a litter box?

I love coalition work for many reasons. Building allies is important to making local connections and is often mutually advantageous to everyone. Every organization has a special culture and area of specialization, which can be a great advantage when the diversities compliment one another. With a spirit of cooperation and collaboration, you can see the miracle of 1+1 adding up to much more than 2 when you see the impact that you can make together in your community. I’m reminded of an African proverb:

“If you want to go fast, go alone. 

If you want to go far, go together.”

From the viewpoint of an organizational leader, I tend to seek out allies in other organizations in these three situations (although there are many other reasons, too):

• I’m new in town and want to know what other people are already doing about my issue
• I want the volunteers I lead to learn or experience something my current organization doesn’t provide
• A project – like, getting the attention of a certain member of Congress or putting on an event – requires strength in numbers 

From a personal view, I feel I don’t have to limit myself to working with just one organization or one set of people. Because I know people receive messages in different ways depending on the messenger, I like being able to move between groups. That way, I can represent different messengers. I always have the same mission of advocating against poverty, but have a drawer full of t-shirts from various organizations, so I can pick and choose the one that best suits the specific message of the day.

Let’s take a look at four groups I work with in the anti-poverty world as an example of how similar organizations can have different vibes. Every one of these is a reputable advocacy organization that encourages similar kinds of actions. I know stellar expert advocates from each one, yet I value the unique culture and the mode of operations for each one.

ONE activists party downtown for World AIDS
Day. One free Belevedere (RED) vodka drink for
every letter we wrote to Congress. I wrote three!

1. RESULTS lets me do a deep dive into advocacy for key, interrelated issues. There’s no better organization for teaching about best practices of how build meaningful, personal relationships with members of Congress. If you want to get a message delivered face-to-face to a decision maker, these are the people you want in the room.
2. Shot@Life has a laser-focus on global vaccines as a tool for child survival as well as giving me great infographics and social media training. I get to fully indulge my “mommy” side and involve my kids as the culture is extremely welcoming to kids and parents.
3. ONE Campaign volunteers are the cool kids on the block. ONE makes activism a sexy, mainstream thing to do and does a great job of using social media and texting tools for easy advocacy actions. If you want thousands of people to take a urgent, quick action or to pack a downtown Chicago bar full of hip young activists for a World AIDS day party, they are the masters.
4. Bread for the World is a Christian organization with a deep focus on hunger. It is the very best entryway to talk to church congregations. Bread’s annual Offering of Letters is the gold standard of how to organize letter-writing events and they are extremely good at making the moral case to end poverty. They know how to get thousands of handwritten letters from churches or a powerful lobby meeting with clergy (and every member of Congress knows each pastor has a flock of hundreds). 

So, if I’m speaking to a Jewish congregation, I know it will make people feel more comfortable for me to use secular materials from RESULTS instead of Bread hand-outs with quotes from the New Testament all over them. You can also see how they can compliment each other very well. ONE campaign volunteer coordinators often do a stellar job at outreach and can lean on local RESULTS partners to provide lobby training if they don’t have nearby ONE staff to provide it.

It’s fun to have more people playing in your sandbox…especially when everyone is playing nicely. Here’s my handy-dandy list of “Do’s and Don’ts” for coalition work. The key to getting along is mostly common sense, but these tips are things I've had gently to remind myself – or others – about every time I start over with a new group. When it comes to collaboration and personal relationships, every one of us is a work in progress!

• Do be make sure you have a mutual understanding of your common ground, so your work can stay focused and clear.
• Do be clear with others about what makes your organization special and what you bring to the table that is beneficial to the partnership.
• Do give as much as you take. Be generous with your time and others will be more willing to lend a hand for you.
• Do build a reputation for being professional and easy to work with. 
• Do be dependable and follow through with what you agree to do.
• Do listen. Listening is so important.
• Don’t overwhelm yourself trying to be all things to all organizations.
• Don’t poach members. Actively recruiting and trying to get people to switch to your group is not cool.
• Do respect the culture and strategies of the other groups. Just because they use different methods doesn’t mean they are wrong. In fact, it probably makes the coalition stronger as a whole!

To start off a conversation, let me ask you…what organizations do you find compatible in your work? How have you seen groups have success in working together? Or, if you don’t have stories like that yet…which organizations’ tshirts are in your drawer?

Stuff Your Own Stocking: Advice for Parents & Organizers

a.k.a. "Take Care of Yourself"

a.k.a. "Put Your Own Oxygen Mask On First"

There is something wrong with me. Not terribly wrong, but I can tell by the twitch in my right eye. And the ache where my neck meets my left shoulder. And the way emotional commercials about children in need feel like a punch in the gut. I know my temporary disorder is nothing more than stress from the end of a long year of poverty fighting and the emotional holidays getting to me a bit. So, I'm writing this blog as a reminder to myself - and other parents with a selfless streak - that it's okay...no, it's important...to take care of yourself. Even if it means stuffing your own Christmas stocking.

If you read no further, this is the takeaway: Resting, refueling, and treating yourself shouldn't be a luxury...it's necessary to avoid burnout as a parent and a social justice advocate. Here are a few story metaphors from my own life to illustrate my point.

The Empty Stocking
A few years back, I awoke on Christmas morning to an empty stocking. It wasn't because I was bad that year. It's just that as I skillfully played "Santa" and took over the role of reigning Christmas matriarch for my family, everyone else assumed that somebody would take care of getting me a little something. I came to the startling realization that if I did not stuff my own stocking, I very well might end up with a flat, disappointing sock hanging from a nail.

There's a metaphor here, I think, about moms (and dads) taking care of themselves. As a skillful leader of a family or volunteer group who often just quietly and routinely "takes care of things" for others...if you don't let others know what you want or make a little "you-time" to get it for yourself, you shouldn't blame others for assuming you've taken care of everything when you always seem to every other time. I moped for a few minutes over my flat stocking, but in the end, I just laughed in recognizing what happened and made a note that I had my own permission to put a little something in my own stocking every year afterward. After all, I'll be sure to love whatever I put in there, right? (This year, it's a small box with six of my favorite truffles from Kakao Chocolates in St Louis...not even my husband nor sister could pick all six correctly) Side note: It wasn't like I didn't get a present at all! It's just that silly detail of the sneaky, overnight filling of stockings. 

The Oxygen Mask
Have you ever flown on an airplane with children? When you do, you get your very own, personal safety spiel: "Always secure your own oxygen mask first before assisting your child." They say that because the parental instinct is always to take care of the children first. Yet if you are unconscious, you can't get their mask on and you both perish. Eek! Applying this concept to everyday life for caretakers and organizers, if you don't take care of yourself, you're not going to be able to take care of anybody. You won't be a good parent, advocate, employee, spouse, etc. When I put myself dead last, I get snappish with my kids and the volunteers I organize. From a mommy perspective, doing a few things I want to do will make me a more compassionate and generous role model for my kids. From an advocacy perspective, if I slow down and spend good quality time with myself and family now at the end of the year, I will come back to my advocacy in January with a renewed sense of purpose and the ability to save more lives than if I just played the martyr all the way through the holidays.

I'm not saying that putting yourself first is always the way to go. Selfishness is not attractive nor a good example for your children. But neither is martyrdom. There is a lot of wiggle room between putting yourself first and putting yourself at the bottom of your priorities. What I am saying is: put yourself somewhere on the list!

So, what will you stuff your own metaphorical stocking with? A nap? A break from social media? A nice long run? A pedicure? Hey, I'm not judging. I'm indulging.

Seasons of Giving: #GivingTuesday and Beyond

Did you know yesterday was Giving Tuesday? Our 2nd-ever national day of giving in the U.S., part of a growing movement to followup the commercialism of "Black Friday," "Small Business Saturday," and "Cyber Monday." According to one of my friends who works with the social media campaign, preliminary results say that experts are estimating a 90% increase in online giving. Hooray! (Don't ask me how in the world someone calculates that since it involved national charities as well as teeny-tiny local ones) My own local food bank made $5000 yesterday, twice as much as last Giving Tuesday. Maybe I'm so excited about this because this day is an oasis of altruism celebration in the middle of a month that is increasingly about buying luxuries instead of love and caring for those in need.

I'm thrilled that Giving Tuesday is gaining traction yet I'm also concerned about the rest of the year, especially in the context of teaching my little ones to give. Of course, we've been depositing toys in the Toys for Tots been as always, how can we keep it up in all seasons? How does one go about creating a culture of giving in your home all throughout the year and not just at holiday time? Here are three thoughts from me:

1. The Growing Up Giving Guide: Here is a new resource for families wanting to cultivate philanthropy in their children. The new Growing Up Giving Guide is inspired and sponsored by Macy’s Heart of Haiti. One of the most charming aspects about it is the real life anecdotes by parents that day in and day out, are empowering their children to grow up giving. (Okay, full disclosure...I'm proud to be one of the mom's that contributed a story, but it's because I found the idea charming that I did that. No kickbacks, I promise!)

The tips, ideas, and stories and experiences should help to jump-start conversations with your kids and with your friends. Hopefully, the wonderful feeling of giving will become a reality for your family as well!

2. Service Organizations for Children: Today, my youngest is going to a Girl Scout meeting that will be reading the Giving Tree and making their own tree on which to place mittens and hats for kids in need. I have personally worked with Girl Scouts and Camp Fire for many, many years and can say that with the right leadership, a troop experience can have a wonderful positive impact on teaching children to give and to advocate for others. Youth groups for the various religious orgs we've belonged to have also been great places for my girls to find the spirit of giving in the "off-seasons"

3. YOU! (yes, you!): How else can I say this? YOU - a parent, an aunt, a grandparent, a troop leader, a teacher, a human in a child's life - are a role model in real time. You don't have to wait for a campaign started by anyone else. Simple acts like dropping change in the charity box at the grocery store or bringing food to donate to the food bank in the middle of the week are visible outward things you can do any day of the week. Your daily examples are likely more valuable than the big projects people talk about doing once a year.

Good luck to everyone in whatever sort of giving you do whenever you are doing it. Please tell me what is working for you!