Monday, December 23, 2024

How Should I Use My Anger in My Advocacy?

Image: Cynthia's fist raised in front of the U.S.
Capitol wearing a bracelet that says "Speak Up."

With the new year fast approaching, I’ve been considering what kind of energy I want to bring into the next four years of the upcoming Trump administration. I’ve been wrestling with a question as a person who focuses on positivity and building bridges: As our country heads toward a time of more anger and volatility, should I lean into my own anger in my activism or double down on my message of using mom-qualities like kindness and compassion in advocacy?

Image: Cynthia looking angry with arms crossed by
a Disney animation exhibit. Writing on the wall
 says, "can be wrinkled in sassy or angry moods"

Women I follow and many of my followers are mad as hell about U.S. policy and politics. Honestly, so am I. I wonder how my message as an author and speaker fits the current vibe? It’s part of my core message that moms make great advocates because we’re experts in the most important skills that we coach our children to use. I’ve asserted that we can be at the forefront of carrying a positive tone of reason, kindness, and respect into politics. Does this sound naïve now? Should I change my message to fit the current times or double down on what I’ve been saying all along?

I’d usually advise someone to be true to oneself because the best work never comes from an inauthentic place. But what if my dedication to making connections is sincere AND my Mama-bear anger is also real when I hear of a school shooting in Madison, WI?

Image: Cynthia holding a dinosaur
Christmas stocking and wearing a
tshirt that says "Peace be with you."

I own a t-shirt with a quote from the book "A Wrinkle in Time" that says, “Stay angry, Little Meg. You will need all your anger now.” But I also own a t-shirt that says, “Peace be with you.” On the surface, they are opposite messages, but they help me express myself in different moods. I think there’s an answer in there somewhere if I figure out why both shirts resonate with me.

Do we “need” anger in trying times? In the world of Disney’s Inside Out and Inside Out 2, Anger is one of the character emotions sharing control of pre-teen Riley. In her opening description of the characters, Joy says about him, "That's Anger. He cares very deeply about things being fair." In other words, he is linked closely with a sense of justice. His character is revealed to be an essential part of drive and determination in Riley's hockey games. In the Inside Out spinoff series “Dream Productions,” Anger has a hilarious cameo that shows that he’s an emotion who can get things done quickly and effectively. But he isn’t much of a planner. When Anger takes control, he can make terrible decisions. Can we use anger as a tool for inspiration rather than a guiding force in our lives? Can we use anger as fuel to keep our engines running without letting it control us?

Image: A statue of Ghandi
in Washington D.C.

In the history of peaceful activists, Ghandi usually is pretty high on the list of people folks think of first. Ghandi said about anger, 

“I have learned to use my anger for good…without it, we would not be motivated to rise to a challenge. It is an energy that compels us to define what is just and unjust.” 

I’m inspired by this example of someone who embraced his anger, harnessed it, and used it for peaceful purposes. Richard Rohr, American priest and writer, contemplated Ghandi's words as well and offered this:

"The healthy expression of righteous anger can translate communal despair into compassionate action and justice-seeking."

Image: Cynthia talking to Senator Josh
Hawley in front of an American flag 


This seems right to me. I like this idea that we can use anger to move from despair or denial or resignation to a place where we can work for justice with others.

Today, I’m optimistic enough to strive to use anger for these purposes. So, I’ll process my mad feelings with my friends, my spouse, and my therapist with the goal that I can continue to be a peaceful person and a bridge-builder when I write media pieces or speak with members of Congress. There are plenty of influencers out there growing in negativity, so I’m sure people searching for that brand of activism will find what they seek. I’ll continue to occupy a space where advocates tired of or intimidated by political vitriol can develop their powerful voices.




Saturday, November 30, 2024

Keep Marching with Suffs

Image: The marquee sign for the Music Box
theater advertising Suffs the musical against
a brilliant blue sky

The day after a massively disappointing Election Day, a mom-activist I know asked her followers, “What song are you listening to on repeat right now?” I replied, in honesty, Christopher Cross’ “Never Be the Same,” which is a terrible answer. Thankfully, something far more meaningful and inspirational quickly replaced the inane yacht rock tune: “Keep Marching” from the Broadway musical Suffs. I’m still singing it today.

I hadn’t heard of Suffs until another activist at an election postcard writing event raved about it. Suffs a musical about Alice Paul and the American suffragists working with her from the period around the 1920s up to passing the 19th Amendment, with a quick jump to the 1970s. I’m not a NY Times culture reporter like my niece, so I’m never going to describe the show in a way that does it justice at all!

Image: Cindy in front of the Music
Box theater wearing a "Keep
Marching" sash
I will only describe the result when I was lucky enough to see it in New York City two weeks ago. A packed audience full of women and a handful of men (including my husband) left the theater in tears from the emotional release of watching women failing and succeeding and failing and getting up again as they advocated with their bodies on the line. Two hours of laughter and tears culminated in the finale sung directly to us and I left smiling and crying, lifted by their inspiration. It was called, "Keep Marching."

The thought of our advocacy battles lasting so long that we may never know if we fail or prevail is wrenching to me. And yes, sometimes the gains feel too small and the losses too large. But I felt the cast was singing directly to me with the lyrics: 

"We did not end injustice and neither will you
but we made great strides and we know you will, too.
Make peace with your incomplete power and use it for good 
'cuz there's so much to do."

Image: My Suffs show poster
signed by some of the cast.
It brings me comfort and inspiration in the same way as Dr. Martin Luther King's words: "We shall overcome because the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice."

This would have been an incredible show to see after voting our first female president into power. But it was even more needed after watching fellow Americans put Trump in office a second time and re-elect Missouri lawmakers who consistently work to strip away human rights and protections against gun violence. It seemed for a moment like it was an inevitable part of a history book, that we would put Kamala Harris in the oval office and help her bend the arc toward justice. I was swept up in it, too, and needed to hear the Suffs tell me, "Progress is possible, not guaranteed, it can only be made if we keep marching on."

We activists of this decade can now empathize deeply with the suffragists who experienced the thrilling win of the right to vote and the failure of the equal rights amendment. Some of them didn't live long enough to even see those things. I needed to be reminded that I am a part of a very, very long story. The show felt like a giant empathetic wake up call with women of the past holding us like mothers rocking children, saying, "We know, we know, we know...keep going, baby."

I’m going to leave a link to the cast singing it right at a Broadway event for Kamala Harris here. Here are the lyrics by Shaina Taub with no further comment except…keep marching.

Keep Marching

I won’t live to see the future that I fight for
Maybe no one gets to reach that perfect day
If the work is never over
Then how do you keep marching anyway?
Do you carry your banner as far as you can?
Rewriting the world with your imperfect pen?
‘Til the next stubborn girl picks it up in a picket line over and over again?
And you join in the chorus of centuries chanting to her

The path will be twisted and risky and slow
But keep marching, keep marching
Will you fail or prevail? Well, you may never know
But keep marching, keep marching
‘Cause your ancestors are all the proof you need
That progress is possible, not guaranteed
It will only be made if we keep marching, keep marching on

Keep marching on
Keep marching on

And remember every mother that you came from
Learned as much from our success as our mistakes
Don’t forget you’re merely one of many others
On the journey every generation makes
We did not end injustice and neither will you
But still, we made strides, so we know you can too
Make peace with our incomplete power and use it for good
‘Cause there’s so much to do

The gains will feel small and the losses too large
Keep marching, keep marching
You’ll rarely agree with whoever’s in charge
Keep marching, keep marching
‘Cause your ancestors are all the proof you need
That progress is possible, not guaranteed
It will only be made if we keep marching, keep marching on

Keep marching on

Yes, the world can be changed, ‘cause we’ve done it before
So keep marching, keep marching
We’re always behind you, so bang down the door
And keep marching, keep marching
And let history sound the alarm of how
The future demands that we fight for it now
It will only be ours if we keep marching, keep marching on

We must keep marching, marching, marching
We must keep marching, marching, marching
We must keep marching, marching, marching
We must keep marching, marching, marching
Come on, keep marching, marching, marching
Keep marching on


Image: Book cover

Buy an autographed copy of "From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started" at my website www.changyit.com or order it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or any independent bookstore!



Thursday, November 28, 2024

Preparing to Advocate in Any Climate

Just a quick note from my couch on Thanksgiving Weekend. I shouldn’t be writing, but I had a thought this morning that hasn't left me all day. It's about activists who train in and practice relational advocacy: We were made for times like this.

Image: Pans of rolls
baked this morning
My youngest daughter is a freshman in college now, and she insisted on continuing our traditions of making bread and watching the live broadcast Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City. The setting in Manhattan today was a rainy morning that dumped a LOT of water on the main stage. When dancers stomped, you could see splashing. Even on TV, you could see confetti floating by in the gutters. It was a treacherous route for sure. We gasped as two Riverdancers wiped out at separate times and fell to the ground. Both dancers popped back up again, but it certainly wasn’t ideal conditions for dancers or marching bands. What would have happened if a tuba or bass drum player slipped?

Image: The Rockettes on my TV screen
in a precise triangle formation

In any Macy’s Thanksgiving parade, it’s just a matter of time before the Radio City Rockettes arrive. The rain continued to accumulate as they appeared in their shimmery red outfits and dance heels. I said aloud, “It’s okay, they got this. The Rockettes are made for this.” They are professionals. New York is their home turf. Since 1957, they’ve been staple of this parade. They prepare to dance in the freezing temperatures for the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting. Sure enough, they high-kicked their way through the routine with precision and perfect smiles.


Image: The Rockettes on my TV screen
performing a kick line

I see a metaphor for activism here. I predict the political climate next year will be turbulent and unpredictable. Even those who voted for Trump can admit that the second Trump administration will contain surprises and disrupt order. In his first term, it was incredibly difficult to get through general business to maintain the country, much less make progress on issues like climate justice, gun violence, and poverty. I know it’s easy to look at stormy weather ahead and want to give up.

Image: Cindy with a team of St. Louis
RESULTS advocates after a senate meeting

But I take heart that my RESULTS advocacy partners and I practice the art of non-partisan, relational advocacy year-round. Like the Rockettes, we've been doing this for decades. We prepare so that we’re ready after any election season to work in a Congress controlled by Republicans or Democrats. We build personal relationships with our members of Congress and their aides because we never know who will lose an election or ascend to lead a committee critical to our issues.

Our progress is sometimes slowed, like when the tax package with a Child Tax Credit expansion failed in the Senate this year. Yet progress continues (the CTC was brought up positively by both parties during the election) and it's never stopped no matter who became president in any given year. We’ve suffered policy losses, but inspired each other to get up and continue just like the fallen Riverdancers.

There's no doubt that the next years will be an exhausting, marathon-like challenges. But I am thankful for my RESULTS advocacy community that works together to prepare for however the political winds may blow. To all the activists who ceaselessly work to build relationships with members and staff, take heart. We were made for times like this. Our time is now.

If you'd like to support RESULTS, consider donating to my St. Louis team's holiday online fundraiser. I have a goal of raising $1000 before the end of the year because we have a matching grant until December 31 to double your donation! Visit my fundraising page at www.tinyurl.com/DonateWithCindy and read more about how you can help!


Image: Book cover

Buy an autographed copy of "From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started" at my website www.changyit.com or order it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or any independent bookstore!