Seasons of Giving: #GivingTuesday and Beyond

Did you know yesterday was Giving Tuesday? Our 2nd-ever national day of giving in the U.S., part of a growing movement to followup the commercialism of "Black Friday," "Small Business Saturday," and "Cyber Monday." According to one of my friends who works with the social media campaign, preliminary results say that experts are estimating a 90% increase in online giving. Hooray! (Don't ask me how in the world someone calculates that since it involved national charities as well as teeny-tiny local ones) My own local food bank made $5000 yesterday, twice as much as last Giving Tuesday. Maybe I'm so excited about this because this day is an oasis of altruism celebration in the middle of a month that is increasingly about buying luxuries instead of love and caring for those in need.

I'm thrilled that Giving Tuesday is gaining traction yet I'm also concerned about the rest of the year, especially in the context of teaching my little ones to give. Of course, we've been depositing toys in the Toys for Tots been as always, how can we keep it up in all seasons? How does one go about creating a culture of giving in your home all throughout the year and not just at holiday time? Here are three thoughts from me:

1. The Growing Up Giving Guide: Here is a new resource for families wanting to cultivate philanthropy in their children. The new Growing Up Giving Guide is inspired and sponsored by Macy’s Heart of Haiti. One of the most charming aspects about it is the real life anecdotes by parents that day in and day out, are empowering their children to grow up giving. (Okay, full disclosure...I'm proud to be one of the mom's that contributed a story, but it's because I found the idea charming that I did that. No kickbacks, I promise!)

The tips, ideas, and stories and experiences should help to jump-start conversations with your kids and with your friends. Hopefully, the wonderful feeling of giving will become a reality for your family as well!

2. Service Organizations for Children: Today, my youngest is going to a Girl Scout meeting that will be reading the Giving Tree and making their own tree on which to place mittens and hats for kids in need. I have personally worked with Girl Scouts and Camp Fire for many, many years and can say that with the right leadership, a troop experience can have a wonderful positive impact on teaching children to give and to advocate for others. Youth groups for the various religious orgs we've belonged to have also been great places for my girls to find the spirit of giving in the "off-seasons"

3. YOU! (yes, you!): How else can I say this? YOU - a parent, an aunt, a grandparent, a troop leader, a teacher, a human in a child's life - are a role model in real time. You don't have to wait for a campaign started by anyone else. Simple acts like dropping change in the charity box at the grocery store or bringing food to donate to the food bank in the middle of the week are visible outward things you can do any day of the week. Your daily examples are likely more valuable than the big projects people talk about doing once a year.

Good luck to everyone in whatever sort of giving you do whenever you are doing it. Please tell me what is working for you!

Wouldn't it Be Nice to Put on a Few Pounds Over the Holidays?

Wouldn't it be nice to put on a few pounds for the holidays? It definitely would if you were one of thousands of Americans recently cut off from SNAP (formerly known as "Food Stamps") benefits or one of millions of children suffering from malnutrition globally. I'm no different than many Americans as I stare at the number between my toes on the scale in dismay. (No, Dear Reader, you don't get to know what that number came up as after it sat there thinking on "888.8") I'm hoping I don't make that number go up and I've even signed up for a post-Thanksgiving 5K to try to motivate myself away from the extra pounds. BUT, I'm also aware of the desperate imbalance between my upcoming over-indulgence and the shocking need for most people in the world. 

So, I'm going to a different kind of feast and I'm inviting you to come with me. Come join the RESULTS Virtual Thanksgiving Feast! At this meal, there will be no weight gain at all except for the people who need it desperately. No place settings and no cleanup. Actually, there will be no turkey either. At this time of plenty, please join me in donating the RESULTS online campaign to help children in the U.S. and around the world who don’t know when their next meal will be.

In 2012, 21.6 percent of American children lived in food insecure households. Children who are regularly hungry struggle in school and suffer from weakened immune systems, slowed and abnormal growth, and anemia. RESULTS volunteers advocate to protect the SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or “Food Stamps”). SNAP lifted 4.7 million people out of poverty in 2011, and nearly 75 percent of SNAP participants are in families with children.

Globally, hunger is a death sentence for 3.1 million kids per year and irreversibly stunts the growth of 25 percent of all children. Nearly half of all deaths of children under five years of age are due to undernutrition. Hunger and undernutrition are preventable with simple, proven, nutrition programs. 

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/11/25/3779139/hey-congress-hungers-not-a-game.html#storylink=cpy

Please join the Virtual Thanksgiving Feast and make a gift this holiday season - maybe the cost of your pumpkin pie or even a pumpkin latte? - and help some people who can really stand to put on a few pounds.

Confrontational vs Combative: A Fine Line in Advocacy

I've noticed something curious happening when I coach new advocates about how to approach members of Congress and aides who are far apart from our anti-poverty positions. When I advise people to be "non-partisan and non-combative," I hear some folks interpreting and sometimes misquoting my words to say "non-confrontational." It's doesn't seem like a big deal - and to some it's splitting hairs - but I think that the distinction is an important one.

Every advocacy organization has it's own culture and every advocate has her/his own style. The things I'm going to say here are my own beliefs, which have been shaped by lobbying with RESULTS over several years...even thought they've never broken it down for me in quite this way.

As I see it, "confrontional" encounters bring an issue before someone in a way that cannot ignore be ignored. "Combative" dialogue introduces an aggressive attack element into the interaction that often brings out a negative reaction. As our national, political conversation gets more polarized, the combative nature tends to come to the surface and bring out the worst in all of us.

Partisan politics is messy and distracting. I believe the posturing and verbal combat we see on TV has a lot more to do with entertainment and pettiness than with governing a nation. Most of what I see on the internet comment boards is even worse and even less useful. I find very little of it to be helpful when sitting down as a constituent, face to face with actual elected officials. What you see on FOX or Hardball...that's combative. If you want to be a seriously effective and respected advocate, those people should not be your role models if you want someone on the other side of your issue to truly hear you.

When you lobby in person and look someone in the eye - or even when you talk on the phone - you're dealing with another human. Even though it is supposed to be their job to speak with you, they have their own sense of pride and emotional reactions that can steer them to listen to you carefully with respect or come back at you with a knee-jerk reaction of spouting talking points. Or, even worse, they might reassign your meeting to an underling next time...if they accept your meeting at all. I don't want to be seen as combative because I'll too easily be written off as belligerent and uninformed.

But what I DO want to do is be confrontational. How can we be great change agents if we don't confront those that hold the status quo or want us to go backward? If business as usual would bring an end to poverty, that would be neat...but it really won't. We need to confront and challenge the assumptions of people in power if we want to create a better world.

I take an example from my parenting to help illustrate the difference between the two. Think about my children who leave toys where I step on them. (Legos...the worst! Dammit!) I will confront them about it, but I will not be combative when I do. I point it out to them at a time, place, and manner that makes it hard or impossible to ignore me. I am persistent about it. I am clear and direct about it. But I am never combative with my kids. If I were, that would be abusive and they'd have a pretty good case against me when they got all done with their therapy.

Maybe a similar situation can be seen at work when you have conflict with a co-worker you have a long-time relationship with? If they are making professional decision you think is a mistake and not good for your organization, I bet you'll confront them about it. Yet a sane and professional person who actually wants to achieve an objective other than being fired will not use combative language in the workplace.

Richard Smiley and I chat with U.S. Senator RichardDurbin.
After years of lobbying him on microfinance issues, he invited us to attend
a private reception he hosted in his office for Professor Muhammad Yunus

My point is that the notion of confronting without combating applies to lobbying as well. The ideal relationship to have with your members of Congress and their aides is a long-term, personal relationship based on respect, so you should not be combative to the point of not being heard. But it is a waste of their time, my time, and the lives of the people in poverty I represent if I don't confront them about how to improve their positions and offer them actions to take. 

"Non-combative" vs "non-confrontational" is a nuance, I know, but I do believe we can rise to this level of discourse. I bet there are some who would read this who think I'm a pretty wussy advocate and others that shake their heads and think I'm wasting my time on semantics. But, I'm betting there are some out there that are wondering where the line is and are wanting to walk it with me.