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| Image: Laura Frish (photo by Laura Frisch) |
The following is an excerpt from my book, "From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started." In addition to stories and quotes from mom-advocates, my book features six mothers in particular whose stories highlight different aspects of advocacy. Laura Frisch, a volunteer for Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, is one of those powerful women. In this section, I invite everyone to consider how to be more inclusive and build stronger communities.
PROFILE: LAURA FRISCH
BUILDING COMMUNITY
Although I have known Laura Frisch for more than fifteen years, I remain amazed at how she uses every opportunity to exponentially group efforts for good and to build up the community around her in positive ways. Frankly, I both admire and fear her abilities because she pushes the boundaries of my own comfort zone. Knowing Laura has made me a bolder organizer.
As a mom of young children, Laura skillfully created a fun and welcoming community for her friends and neighbors; she carried those skills into her local schools and later into troubled Chicago neighborhoods. Now she works to foster a nationwide community that can create a safer place for all.
When we were both raising little ones in Morton Grove, Illinois, Laura’s house was a swirling epicenter of neighborhood activity. Two kids and four dogs made for a bustling home on the quietest of days, and her door was always open to welcome friends and their kids for anything from an impromptu backyard picnic to a messy tie-dye T-shirt session.
To Laura, anything worth doing with two friends was worth doing with ten friends! She was so comfortable in the chaos that her first instinct was always to ask, “How can we include more people? How do we make this open and accessible for everyone?” This tendency was both a challenge and an inspiration to an introvert like me, who generally wanted to keep things comfortable and cozy for myself. Yet I knew that whenever I wanted to rally the Morton Grove community, Laura was the secret ingredient for cooking up any of my schemes.
For example, I once thought it would be good to replace the school’s annual wrapping paper fundraiser with a walkathon so our kids could do something healthy instead of generating more disposable waste. I laid my idea at Laura’s feet. Before I knew it, we had a school day set aside for a walkathon and a volunteer committee of parents scurrying to find sponsors, collect donations, and judge a T-shirt design contest.
Laura didn’t stop there. She arranged for a school for students with emotional or physical challenges to participate in our walkathon and to share in the proceeds, too. That school had significant financial needs but no parent organization to raise money. Laura took my idea and made it bigger. More inclusive. More accessible. I moved away from Illinois in 2013, but I kept in touch with Laura, and I wasn’t surprised when she became involved with a nationwide advocacy group in the aftermath of the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. Laura, who had been teaching a park district preschool class on the day of the shooting, said, “It was like Pearl Harbor Day. I distinctly remember I was working in one of those little one-room schoolhouses. No protection there. I thought about how I’ve had incidents where divorced parents tried to pick up kids without authority and I had to call the police.” In those times of conflict, it had only been Laura and two helpers caring for fifteen preschoolers. No security backup.
The thought of what could happen if an armed person came with the intent to harm her or her class prompted her to join the Facebook group of Shannon Watts, an Indiana stay-at-home mom who felt compelled to take action after the Sandy Hook massacre. Shannon started a nationwide discussion among mothers about how Americans could and should do more to reduce gun violence. This impromptu group went viral and eventually became Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. It’s now a widespread grassroots movement of Americans who are fighting for public safety measures to reduce gun violence. Members advocate for stronger gun laws and work to close loopholes that jeopardize public safety. They also work in their own communities and with business leaders to encourage a culture of responsible gun ownership.
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| Image: Missouri Moms Demand Action advocates at 2020 lobby day in Jefferson City, MO Photo by Becky Morgan |
Nowadays, Moms Demand Action is an advocacy juggernaut that inspires seas of supporters in read T-shirts to descend upon state legislatures to promote "gun sense" legislation. The organization has at least one chapter in every state and over eight million supporters. But Laura was there in the early days when Moms Demand Action consisted of small pockets of moms around the country who were simply trying to start conversations about gun safety.
“We were a total ragtag little team of people who started out saying, ‘Let’s talk about it at our PTO meetings’ and turned it into ‘Let’s find out how to lobby,’” she recalled. At the time, she had no idea how big the movement would become or that she would bring the Moms Demand organization to the whole North Shore area of Chicago.
In addition to Laura, several Moms Demand members lived in Chicago or its suburbs, and one of them learned a mother had been killed while protecting her child from a drive-by shooting. So, a couple of nearby members went to sit in solidarity with neighbors on the Englewood corner where that mother had been shot. Laura believes it’s important to know that Moms Demand volunteers went with a spirit of partnership to places where allies were already working against gun violence, rather than simply showing up after a shooting for a photo op. “It’s more like, when there was a group there already, they’d say, ‘Come and help,’ and we’d show up to support each other.”
In Englewood, what began as a small vigil on a corner started by Tamar Manasseh of MASK, Mothers and Men Against Senseless Killings, soon blossomed into a regular event the community could count on for safety. The gatherings went like this: Take char- coal and food for seventy-five people to a local park. Bring along a local Lutheran pastor, Islamic leaders, and Jewish congregants. Get together and talk to people in a block-party setting. Feed everyone. The atmosphere was energizing and loving. On these block party nights, kids in the neighborhood knew this would be a safe spot where they could get something to eat, which was important because many of the kids were food insecure. Laura would set up a face-painting table, something she often did for events at her synagogue and the Morton Grove Farmers’ Market. Her face painting gave kids a chance to sit down with a safe adult for one-on-one time, helping them build positive memories of being a kid.
Moms Demand volunteers in Chicago continue to work with local groups organizing these kinds of gatherings to provide whatever is needed. They strive to make these areas feel safer and to help children escape the fear they carry with them. Members also listen to kids tell stories of the people they have lost.
Laura’s role with Moms Demand Action grew as the organization addressed more state and national initiatives, including speaking to legislators and supporting a campaign to spread safety awareness among gun owners. But she still makes time to go back to that same Englewood gathering, which never stopped trying to make that corner a safe place to be. Even though MASK runs the event on its own, Laura still goes twice a year, bringing more people with her each time.
“It’s hot and there’s very little shade,” Laura admitted. “It’s a schlep down there, but we go back every year. Every single time I’m thinking, ‘This is affecting people in a positive way,’ so I keep going.”
When she reflected upon how the organization has expanded from the eclectic group of volunteers who gathered in the early days, Laura said, “Moms Demand was the sorority everyone could join. Of course, it’s serious business. Many people joined because they lost a child or loved one to gun violence, so it wasn’t all fun with sisters. But everyone was welcome.”
Baking this kind of inclusiveness into the organization’s culture has helped it grow and gain power. With a problem as widespread as gun violence, it’s important to get all kinds of allies on board to create and run safety campaigns and encourage the election of gun-sense candidates. They may have started as a bunch of moms, but those moms knew they needed to enlist the help of dads, kids, hunters, gun-toting grandmas, members of Congress, and even conservative news pundits.
Not long after my 2019 conversation with Laura, conservative CNN host S. E. Cupp—nationally known as an outspoken supporter of the National Rifle Association (NRA)—announced on air that she had dropped her NRA membership in the wake of mass shootings in El Paso, Texas, and Dayton, Ohio. In an impassioned speech, she spoke in favor of legislative measures that Moms Demand advocates had promoted for years: universal background checks, bans on the sale of large drums of ammunition, and measures to prevent domestic abusers from having access to guns. Just four years earlier, Cupp had appeared in an advertisement as a self-proclaimed “NRA mom” who urged others to join the NRA. I don’t know whether Cupp will join Moms Demand, but I think she would find that sorority accepting of her.
Building movements and organizing volunteers is hard. It can be messy when a lot of different personalities and viewpoints clash. But changing the world takes a wide diversity of voices and personalities, and we don’t always get to pick and choose who shows up to help. Laura understands that if we work only with people who look like us, shop like us, worship like us, and play like us, then we are not going to change much of anything at all. Her solution is to welcome everybody.
When I asked what drives her sense of inclusivity, Laura denied suggestions that it came from her religion or early role models. Instead, she said, “I was lonely as a kid. I’m never going to make someone not be included. I’ve stood in those shoes and I’m not going to make anyone else stand in them.”
Most of us have felt lonely and left out at times in our lives. Let’s channel those feelings as Laura does to make others feel more comfortable as we work together. Building inclusive movements is the greatest gift we can share to take powerful actions and help more people.
Image: Book cover
Buy an autographed copy of "From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started" at my website www.changyit.com or order it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or any independent bookstore!
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